


Whipping Boy

by firewolfsg



Category: Weiss Kreuz
Genre: M/M, Non Consensual, Statutory Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-30
Updated: 2000-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weiß know of Aya's deep hatred for the Takatori family. However, even if they can easily trace the cause to the murder of his parents and his sister's comatose state, they'd never guess that the roots to these feelings reach far beyond those events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fic Setting: Takes place from the start of Mission 10 and ties in with Omi's history

/Takatori, Takatori, Takatori--/ The name echoed with each beat of his heart as Aya lay in his bed trying not to think of the mission Manx had given them earlier. It was clear to them that their target had risen to the bait. From the tracer they had on Omi, he hadn't been moved yet, so all they could do now was wait for him to contact them, if that was possible.

Omi had asked to be the point man on the mission and they let him. In retrospect, it could be laughable to reason why either Youji or Ken did not insist they take the part when Omi was in truth underage to be allowed in a nightclub. Aya-- he had no desire to slip himself into a noisy throng of people. They all knew that he hated crowds, so it was no surprise to them that he did not volunteer to take the position. Ken and Youji on the other hand were loathed to leave one in Aya's company without the other's supervision, so neither had raised much of a vehement protest against Omi taking the lead. The long and short of that evening's song and dance was that Youji and Ken had spent the evening with him, while Omi was out clubbing and hoping to be kidnapped and brought onto the estates of Takatori Hirofumi. That thought brought a curl of a smile to Aya's lips, distracting him from his contemplation of Omi's fate.

Contrary to the belief of the two men, Aya was aware that their intensions were serious. He just chose to carefully ignore or pretend innocence at the innuendo they kept dropping around him. It would not surprise Aya to know that they believed him to be a virgin either, given what little they knew about him. He wasn't blind or dumb. He knew what the two men really wanted from him. In truth, he rather liked the light-hearted flirting. But he honestly wasn't ready to choose between them and reciprocate their affection. Maybe it was selfish, but he didn't want to totally rebuff them. He just didn't entirely trust that it wasn't wholly sexual attraction yet. At least with the slight distance, he could pretend that they wanted to offer love. Should they decide to finally give up, there was still the close friendship that they had developed in its place. Aya thought he knew them well enough to believe that they would still have that, even if love did not kindle between them.

Aya was sorry that he hadn't been very good company to his two suitors. He had been so quiet that the companionable silence they usually shared was awkward. They could sense that something about the mission was troubling him greatly and Aya knew it worried them. But he didn't want to talk about the memories that were dredged up with this assignment. Once they lost contact with Omi, they had each retreated to their apartment to rest and await his signal, reluctant to prolong the uncomfortable gathering. He wondered if Ken and Youji were in their apartments worrying about their youngest compatriot. Despite his concern, Aya's thoughts were far from considering the fate of his comrade. He had to be honest about it and admit it was memories of his past that were occupying him now. He thought he had put it all behind him, but apparently, that was false hope on his part.

/Takatori Hirofumi. So, the son turned out to be as great a monster as the Otosan with this human hunting game.../ That thought skirted his mind again as Aya tossed and turned in his bed, trying to rest. He could feel himself curling into a foetal position. /Takatori-- I *hate* you./ He gave up trying to hold back the tears. Sobbing quietly as he cursed the day Takatori Reiji entered his life and turned it into a nightmare so many years ago. He was only 10 when they first met.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> "Otosan! 'kasan! Aya! Where are you?! I have something to tell you! Otosan!" Ran Fujimiya ran towards his home in excitement. In his rush, he failed to notice the black limousine parked beside his house. The young redhead toed off his shoes and hurried towards his father's study. So eager was he to share his news, he rapped his knuckles on the doorframe, but did not wait for his father's invitation to enter before he burst in on him. "Oto-- Oh!"
> 
> A blush, as red as his hair, swept across his cheeks to see the stranger seated before his father's desk. The man had turned towards the door with an eyebrow arched at his entrance. "I-I-I did--not mean to interrupt, Otosan. I-"
> 
> "Nonsense, this is a Saturday afternoon. Why should you have expected your Otosan to be entertaining an investor outside the work week?"
> 
> Despite the friendly words, Ran felt an instant discomfort that told him to remove himself from their presence immediately. He stole a quick glance at his father before turning back to the stranger. To his relief, his father's expression was not of anger, though it was of worry, but that had quickly dissipated with the stranger's words. From that, Ran understood enough to guess the stranger to be an important man to his father; one he wanted to stay on the good side of.
> 
> "Please forgive my interruption, Otosan." Ran bowed towards his father and the stranger. "I should take my leav--"
> 
> "No. Why don't you stay a moment and listen to some business talk? It will be good training to start young and familiarise yourself with the corporate world." The stranger gestured to him to take the second seat in front of his father's desk.
> 
> "I--"
> 
> "Takatori-san has graciously invited you to join us, so sit, Ran."
> 
> Ran noticed that his father was waving towards the chair almost nervously. Whoever this man-- Takatori was, Ran guessed that he must be powerful enough in the corporate world that his father desired his good will. Perhaps his father's agitation was telegraphing itself to Ran, for he found himself almost trembling as he slid into the vacant seat.
> 
> "So... what were you so excited about, Fujimiya Ran, that you would burst in on your Otosan's study without his invitation to enter?"
> 
> The question was friendly and the expression teasing, but at that moment, Ran had almost forgotten all about his good news of the day. He couldn't help it. The stranger's regard of him was making him nervous. It wasn't until he heard his father clearing his throat that Ran realised he had fallen silent and was staring at Takatori.
> 
> "I-- Oh, Coach Kodashi just told me that I made the tennis team. I'll be playing in the State Championships for the school." It was a bit difficult, but Ran managed to recapture some of his excitement, nearly forgotten in the unexpected meeting of his father's guest. His spirits were further boosted to hear the pleased tone his father's voice.
> 
> "Very good, Ran. You worked very hard to get a place on the team."
> 
> "Ahh, so I see the elder Fujimiya is not the only one in the family who can be counted on for his hard work and determination." Ran thought his father's chest had puffed out by several inches at the unexpected praise. "I tend to distrust a man who is unable to run a commendable household. I feel that if he cannot take care of so few, I cannot count on him to successfully run a corporation. I am content that my investment is in secure hands then, Fujimiya-san."
> 
> Ran didn't know what to say to the man's contemplative look at him, so he bowed his head and blushed. Out of the corner of his eye, Ran could see that his father was pleased.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> As the sky herald the approach of dusk, father and son stood on the porch watching the black limousine disappear down the road.
> 
> "Otosan, who was that man?" Ran looked up at his father, still yet unable to shake the ominous feeling hovering over him since he came into their presence.
> 
> Ran's father sucked in a deep breath and let it out again slowly before he answered his son. " Takatori Reiji, a very powerful man."
> 
> "But--" Ran frowned, troubled by his father's obvious awe of the other man. "I've never seen his name in the newspapers before."
> 
> "The man dislikes publicity. But mark my words, Ran, he is a power in itself in Tokyo. Industry leaders and politicians alike find it wise to listen to the man. He takes strongly after his father, Takatori Saijou, who was very highly regarded by our nation's leaders. He may even rise to the Diet one day." The elder Fujimiya smiled at his son. "You did well to help me, my son. With the investment Takatori-san has agreed to give our corporation, our family's future is assured. Come, let us tell your 'kasan of our good fortune and your news with the tennis team!"
> 
> "Yes-- Otosan." Ran took one last glance over his shoulder in the direction of the departing car before his father's arm guided him back into the house. He couldn't ignore the feeling of foreboding the man cast over him.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

Aya strode out of the house in disgust, unable to bide listening to Omi's crying anymore. /Takatori-- Takatori-- Mamoru... It was you he was protectin--/ A hand caught his arm, stopping him in his tracks. Ken.

"Aya, we cannot choose our relatives." Warm arms slipped around his waist and hugged him from behind. "Please, we've known Omi-- we've fought beside him-- entrusted our lives to his direction during missions through all our time together in Weiß. Give him a chance."

Aya's gloved hand moved to rest over the arm, tugging slightly at its snug grip. Ken obliged by loosening the hold, though he still rested his chin on Aya's shoulder. "Nothing's changed, Aya. He is still Weiß."

"How can you be sure? He let our target leave." Aya reminded him coldly. "He raised a gun to hold us off while his *oniisan* ran for his life!"

"He is confused. Aya, give him another chance." Ken gave him a brief squeeze and released him. Noticing that Aya did not immediately begin striding away towards where they had hidden his car, Ken took it as unspoken consent to wait until he retrieved Omi.

As soon as he was sure that Ken had turned his back, Aya's hands moved up to hug his arms. Bits and pieces of the past started surfacing in his mind, along with them were Ken's words. //"Aya, we cannot choose our relatives."//

They echoed in his head, resonating with another statement from his past. //"What can the child do, Ran? He doesn't know."//

He remembered telling himself this, years ago. /I had never set eyes on you before in those days long past, Mamoru, but I still hated you then. Knowing who you are now-- it brings back memories I wish I could have purged forever, like the way you erase data from a floppy disk./

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> Takatori Reiji... the man stayed on Ran's mind for much of the following week. Especially since the promised investment in the Fujimiya Trading Corporation was still not yet forthcoming. In the subsequent evenings after that visit, Ran had listened quietly as his father spoke to him of the various decisions and analyses Takatori's financial advisors and attorneys presented to him in their due diligence. He did not yet understand the corporate world his father was engaged in, but even he could guess that there was something stonewalling the negotiations. His father's frustrations were troubling.
> 
> Ran tried not to think about it at tennis practise when the Saturday came around again. Coach Kodashi demanded 110 % out of his players. He could not hope to give that to him if he was distracted. Just for those few hours, Ran did not think about his father, the company, or of Takatori Reiji. He was absorbed in his game. The comfortable serve and return which seemed so much more stable than the volatile economy that decided on his father's success or failure in the industry. The physical activity was a welcomed escape from his thoughts. But that island of comfort was lost all too soon.
> 
> Ran dived for a shot, confident in his ability to catch it when a flash of black caught his eye. It was as if he had forgotten about everything else when he noticed the limousine parked beside the fence that bordered the tennis courts. That proved costly. He felt his ankle twist under him as he stumbled and a cry of pain escaped his lips before he was even aware of it.
> 
> "Fujimiya!" Coach Kodashi was at Ran's side instantly pulling him into a seated position against him. "Don't move, let me see that-- Did you feel anything snap?"
> 
> Ran winced as the coach released all the laces on his shoe before easing it off the foot. "N--no. I think I just twisted it."
> 
> The coach nodded absently as he removed the sock and prodded the injury gently. "Sato, get me some ice for this!"
> 
> "I--I'm--" Ran felt a deep blush of embarrassment starting on his cheeks as he saw one of his team mates running towards the staff office while the others crowded around him in concern.
> 
> "You're what, Fujimiya? Don't worry. We'll ice it now. You see if your 'kasan can help you strap an ice pack to the ankle overnight. Take it easy for a couple of weeks and you'll be back on the courts again. I'll get you a pair of crutches."
> 
> "Crutches?" Ran blinked at him, his pain forgotten for a moment.
> 
> "Crutches." The coach tapped him on the nose to emphasise his seriousness. "Keep off the foot until it's healed and you'll be back on your feet faster."
> 
> The ice pack was quickly produced and Ran's attention was once more diverted as he hissed at the coldness against his skin.
> 
> "So-- what did you see, Fujimiya?"
> 
> He couldn't stop the involuntary turning of his head towards the fence. The coach and his fellow team mates looked up expectantly as well but the limousine was already gone.
> 
> "I thought I saw someone familiar. I'm sorr--"
> 
> "I think you're paying enough for that bit of distraction." Coach Kodashi interrupted him. "Can you hold that ice pack in position?"
> 
> "Y-yes."
> 
> "Good." With little more ceremony, the man slipped an arm under Ran's knees and behind his back and lifted him off the floor. "Lets get you to the infirmary for a rest. No use lying out here in the sun."
> 
> "Sensei!" Ran blushed bright red in embarrassment.
> 
> "Don't struggle or I'll drop you! You're too light for your height and age, Fujimiya Ran. You need to eat more."
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> Aya giggled merrily as she walked with her brother's duffel bag while he hobbled after her slowly on the loaned crutches. "Coach Kodashi carried you to the infirmary? I though he only offered that kind of service to girls."
> 
> "Aya! He's--"
> 
> "Baka, we all know he isn't like that." She laughed at her brother's discomfort as she skipped ahead. "Everyone knows that Coach Kodashi is probably one of the most helpful people in school. But didn't he even think about just offering a shoulder to lean on?"
> 
> Ran looked down at his securely strapped ankle, his face still red from the embarrassment of the afternoon affairs. "Guess he just wanted me to stay off the foot."
> 
> "Are you okay?" Aya turned to look back at him, chewing on her bottom lip in worry. "Is your place on the team--"
> 
> Ran gave his sister a reassuring smile. "No, it's still mine. This is only a minor setback. The championships are still months away. I have the time to heal this and get back on track."
> 
> "Does it hurt?"
> 
> "A little, the ice helped to numb the pain."
> 
> Aya looked up at the reddening sky. "We're a long way from home, Oniisan."
> 
> "Well, maybe we can catch a taxi--" Ran jerked his head towards the road when he noticed the sound of a car approaching.
> 
> A black limousine drew ahead of them slightly and Takatori Reiji stepped out to face them. "Fujimiya?"
> 
> "T-Takatori-san?"
> 
> "Please, let me offer you a lift home." The man gestured towards the interior of his limousine. "I happened to be in the neighbourhood when I saw you practising on the school courts. I did not mean to startle you and cause this."
> 
> "Sugoi! I've never ridden in a limousine before!"
> 
> "Aya!" Ran cringed and he could feel his face turn as red as his hair at his sister's enthusiastic whoop. "It was my own carelessness that caused this Takatori-san. Domo arigato, for your gracious offer, but it would be an imposition. Our home is not along your way."
> 
> "Nonsense. I feel somewhat responsible for this." The older man tugged at Ran's crutches, easily stealing them from his possession. Before Ran could raise any further protests, the chauffeur had already taken them from his employer's hands and placed them into the trunk of the limousine. "Come then, children. Your Otosan would be anxious to see your return."
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> Ran looked uncomfortably at the arm across his path, which prevented him from following his sister out of the limousine.
> 
> "Aya-chan, why don't you let your parents know that I'll be taking your oniisan for a ride around the block? I would like to get to know him a little better." Takatori Reiji smiled winningly at the little girl.
> 
> "A--"
> 
> "We'll be back shortly." He promised her, and closed the door before Ran could raise a voice in protest.
> 
> They sat in silence while the limousine started again, the driver discretely raising the barrier between his section and the passenger area to give them some privacy. Takatori broke the silence for them.
> 
> "Have you ever given any thoughts to the future, Ran?"
> 
> "Future?"
> 
> "Have you thought about what you're going to study? What you would like to grow up to become?"
> 
> Ran frowned as he considered the question carefully. He knew Takatori Reiji was a very important person to his father's business. A glib thoughtless answer would not impress him and Ran recognised that his father would wish to have the man's good opinion.
> 
> "It-- it is still early for me to decide. I suppose I would eventually hope to step in my Chichi's shoes with our family business. But I still need to finish school and learn about life to prepare for that time."
> 
> "But schooling-- some see it as ill preparation for the true working world, Ran. You will never get 'Real Life' out of a text book."
> 
> Ran frowned at the statement. "It is the only way we know. I know that I need to work towards a university degree--"
> 
> "A university degree is not important for all business leaders. There is currently a young man called Bill Gates who is building an empire in the West. He is a drop out. But mark my words, Ran, he will go far."
> 
> "What is important then, if not schooling?"
> 
> "Have you ever heard of the principle of 'The Sword, the Jewel and the Mirror?'"
> 
> Ran shook his head.
> 
> "'The Sword' you can equate to 'might'. In feudal times, you could think of this as the size or strength of your army. This is the measure of the power of a nation. In business, you can think of this as the resources you own and the willingness and ability to use these resources to back up your promises with action."
> 
> Ran swallowed with a throat that had suddenly gone dry. He was young, but he still understood that there was a point Takatori was trying to make to him.
> 
> "'The Jewel' is easily explained. This is wealth and money. In business, when used properly it can be wielded as a power to influence the success of a venture.
> 
> "'The mirror' is self knowledge. The ability to recognise needs and see what is good or flawed in oneself. And the willingness to change or do what is necessary to correct or enhance qualities required to achieve what is desired."
> 
> "So-- if one must start somewhere it must be with the mirror? Recognise-- what--" Ran's heart was pounding in his chest fiercely as the older man regarded him with interest. "Otosan-- mentioned to me that he is still awaiting an investment from your company. C--could you tell me what it is you are looking for that he has not offered you to gain your favour?"
> 
> "It is something he cannot give me Ran-- though you might be able to."
> 
> "What is it?"
> 
> "You may not wish to give it to me."
> 
> "I will!"
> 
> "It is a dangerous thing to agree to something before you are told what it is, Ran."
> 
> "Perhaps. But I speak of my Chichi, and he would sacrifice anything for me and for our family. How can I give him any less of myself?" Ran countered. "What assurance do you want from my Chichi--"
> 
> "Nothing from your Otosan, Ran." Ran started almost violently when the man suddenly leaned closer. "Are you sure, you will do anything?"
> 
> "Wh--what do you want?" The boy's eyes were wide now and he was almost squashing himself into the corner of the seat as he shrunk away from the man.
> 
> "I'm not going to hurt you, Little Orchid." Callused fingers gripped his chin and held him firmly in place as a pair of lips started exploring his face. Softly kissing his lips and cheeks. Ran closed his eyes as he felt the man's tongue delicately licking the tears from his face. "Relax, little one. It will hurt if you don't relax. I don't want to hurt you, Little Orchid, not unless you want me to.
> 
> "I'm not a bad man, really. I just have these urges--" Takatori's hands started to pull his t-shirt of out his pants and reach under it to gently pinch and tease his nipples. "This is a lesser sin. Believe me, Little Orchid. I have a son-- You're not related to me at all. Think of this as a service to your Otosan, and to a boy much younger than you are."
> 
> His father seemed to think nothing of Takatori's ride with him when the man finally dropped him off at his home. Not especially when Takatori stopped to talk and exchange pleasantries with the elder Fujimiya. Takatori even told his father that he was impressed with him, and thought he had a good mind for business. It was a simple matter for Ran to wave off his father's questions over what he had talked to Takatori about. Ran would only say that the man wanted to get to know the family better. If he was walking awkwardly, his family thought it was the sprained limb that caused his imbalance.
> 
> The investment his father was waiting for arrived the following Monday. Seeing his father's joy and relief, Ran reminded himself that he had done what was needed to secure the future of his family's well being and protect another little boy.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


tcb


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm tired. Go away."

Aya flopped back into bed and turned his back on Omi-- Mamoru. He had little desire to look at the boy right now, or to dwell on the questions he had just asked him. It was difficult enough trying to avoid thinking of the past without having Takatori Mamoru standing before him and acting as a reminder to him of what he had given up.

"Aya-kun?"

Aya refused to look at him. Days had passed since the revelation, and he hadn't exchanged more than two sentences with Mamoru. He could hear the quiet sob of the boy as he left, but the weeping only echoed the pain he felt in his own heart. /I'm tired, Mamoru. It was all for you. I don't have anymore understanding to give to you./ Unconsciously, Aya curled into a ball in the middle of his bed as he once more found himself dragged into his memories.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> "This is horrible."
> 
> Ran looked up curiously, pausing in his breakfast of natto, egg and rice. "What is it, Otosan?"
> 
> "The news-- Takatori-san's youngest son was kidnapped and the ransom negotiations fell through." The elder Fujimiya shook his head sadly, not noticing that his son almost dropped his chopsticks at that announcement. "The kidnappers broke contact with the family and the police have given up hope of even finding the child's body. This is a great tragedy. The Takatori household will be opening their estates this evening for well-wishers to pay their respects. We must send them our condolences, Ran. "
> 
> Ran's heart was pounding so hard he almost didn't hear his father's last few words. Takatori's youngest son-- Mamoru was dead. He wasn't needed anymore. After the last several months servicing the man-- Letting Mamoru's father work out his lust on him instead-- he was free.
> 
> "Ran?"
> 
> "Huh? I'm-- I'm sorry Otosan, I was-- I was stunned." He shook himself out of his reverie. "What were you saying to me?"
> 
> "That's quite okay, to learn of this... The family must be devastated." The elder Fujimiya nodded to his son. "For this to happen in such a short time after the previous tragedy too."
> 
> "Previous tragedy?"
> 
> "Can you not remember the scandal Takatori-san faced when his Okusan was found to have committed suicide? The poor woman was depressed and apparently, Takatori-san was too engrossed in his work to notice. That is why he became such a devoted Otosan after that. For him to lose his youngest as well..." Ran's father put down the newspapers to regard his son. "I had suggested that we visit his home this evening to pay our respects at the funeral."
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> "Little Orchid."
> 
> Ran tried not to stiffen as a familiar hand came to rest on his shoulder. His family had arrived amidst the crush of guests and well wishers several minutes ago. His father had left them at the buffet table to partake of the refreshments offered while he looked for Takatori Reiji to give his personal condolence. Seeing how nervous his family was with the huge crowd, Ran's father had promised them that they would leave after he had seen Takatori-san. Nothing prepared Ran to have the man suddenly appear behind him and surreptitiously pull him away from the crowd in the ballroom.
> 
> "Takatori-san." Ran's mouth went dry as the man pushed him into a vacant room and locked the door after them. "I-- I'm-- sorry about your loss."
> 
> "Don't be, Little Orchid." The heavyset man continued to guide him towards the sofa. "It was-- he was no son of mine."
> 
> "Takatori-san?" Ran's fingers couldn't pry the hand from his shoulder, he could feel a tide of panic rising within him.
> 
> The man's arms slid around him from behind to hold him in a hug. "I need you right now, Little Orchid." He whispered in his ear.
> 
> "Wait!" Ran tried to twist out of his embrace as he felt the man lifting him off his feet. "I thought-- You don't need--"
> 
> "I want you." Takatori allowed him to turn around so that they faced each other. "Mamoru ceased to be a reason long ago, Little Orchid. I thought you'd realise this." He carried the struggling boy to the sofa.
> 
> "But--Otosan-- He-- he'll be looking for me. We're not supposed to be staying long." Ran could feel tears of anguish and confusion welling up in his eyes as he struggled to pull free of the bigger man.
> 
> "I haven't seen him yet, Little Orchid. He will not leave without paying his respects to me first." Insistent hands pressed him into the sofa and began to undo the ties of his kimono. "I am far too powerful a man for your Otosan to slight. He will wait until he sees me before he'll think of leaving."
> 
> "Please--" Tears started to spill down his cheeks as he felt the rough hands start on the ties of his Obi. His arms now too tangled in the huge sleeves of his outer garment to offer any further resistance.
> 
> "Your Okasan dressed you in very fine clothes, Little Orchid. Do you wish to have them ripped, then be forced to stumble out leaking semen from your ass like a common slut? What will your Otosan think? What will his peers think?"
> 
> His heart gave a little jump in shock at the thought. "You-- they-- they will not believe me..."
> 
> "It is unthinkable--" The older man smiled at him in agreement. "For Takatori Reiji to be taking a little whore at his son's funeral. Little Orchid, I want you now."
> 
> Ran stopped struggling.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

The sound of a fist pounding on his door woke him the next morning bringing his attention to the strong sunlight that was now streaming into his room. Aya blinked in surprise wondering how he had come to sleep in.

"Hey Aya! Mou, even I'm awake already. Where have you been?"

/Youji?/ He clambered out of bed in confusion, noting that he hadn't even changed out of his clothes nor taken off his shoes after Omi left the previous night before he fell asleep.

The chestnut blonde regarded him mischievously as he opened the door of his apartment to admit him. With his mind still a little hazy from having just woken up, Aya didn't notice how Youji was studying his rumpled appearance.

"Had company last night?"

Aya threw a scowl at him for that thought.

In the next moment, he found himself suddenly pressed up against Youji's chest with their faces just centimetres apart. He didn't struggle. Killing the reflex action to lash out and scream in the older man's face, Aya focussed all his attention on keeping his emotions under control. Youji wouldn't hurt him, he reminded himself firmly. He was an aggressive flirt. Far more so than Ken, who he also knew was not above subtly manoeuvring their encounters to get close to him. But distressingly forward or not, Youji *wouldn't* force himself on him. Even now, the older man's grip was loosening as he sensed Aya's distress.

"Aya, what's wrong?"

"Wh-- what?"

"Usually, you'd be blushing when I make a move on you." Youji told him worriedly. "You're almost white."

"I-- It's nothing." Aya looked away, angry with himself for sounding so scared and vulnerable.

"Aya-- do we disgust you?"

"What?"

"Ken and I-- This has been going on for quite a while, Aya. We know you're not sure, and maybe a little afraid..." Youji paused to see if Aya would challenge this statement. Hearing no words of refutation, he went on quietly. "No one's ever tried to get this close to you before, have they?"

"I--" This time Aya blushed. "I-- never dated before--" He knew that it made him sound all the more like an inexperienced virgin, and even perpetuate the impression Youji and Ken may already hold about him, but it wasn't a lie. In all the time Takatori dominated his life, he never dared to date or even wanted to consider a close relationship with any of his schoolmates, be they male or female.

"Aya--" Youji's hand touched his face and made him look up. "It's okay. We don't want to rush you. It doesn't have to go any further if you don't want it to, you know."

"I--" He forcibly stopped himself from flinching away from Youji. "I-- don't know-- what I want."

"So we *do* have some hope of seducing you, right?"

"Youji!" Aya pulled himself out of the older man's embrace. He was blushing as red as a tomato now. Youji smirked at him with a twinkle in his eye, while Aya scowled back. But it was a playful atmosphere about them now.

/Is it so wrong?/ He had to wonder as he regarded the older man. /To use sex as a form of stress release-- Especially with someone who would know and understand the kind of nervous tension we have to live with as assassins?/

"You-- you don't disgust me, Youji." Aya admitted softly before he turned towards his bathroom for a shower. "I'm just not--"

"Hey, we don't want to hurt you, Aya." Youji reached over to thread one of his momiage through his fingers and give it a playful tug. "We'll take it as slow as you like."

Aya escaped into his bathroom and leaned against the door. He was biting his hand, trying hard not to cry while Youji was still in his apartment and within hearing distance. It had been very close. Youji was so near him-- Confusion raged within him, past and present were jumbling in his mind now. It wasn't the man's fault. He couldn't have known how sensitive Aya was currently feeling about some of the words he used. He kept hearing Takatori's voice run through his head again.

//"I won't hurt you, Little Orchid."//

//"Still feeling sore? We'll take it slow, okay?//

Then, the feel of the man's fingers as they threaded through his hair-- Takatori Reiji did so love to play with his hair.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> Per routine, Ran was again the last to leave after tennis practise. His team mates still teased him good-naturedly about being so vain over his hair and appearance that he'd take nearly forever to finish grooming. With another session over, they once more left him alone in the locker room to dress and comb his hair.
> 
> Ran studied himself in his mirror as the teeth of his comb gently pulled through the drying lengths of red. Soft and luxurious, his hair whispered like silk as it cascaded around his shoulders. His male classmates used to tease him about having hair that was nicer than what the girls have, but that didn't happen as often any more. Not since they noticed he had more girl spectators watching him at tennis practise than anyone else on the team. Now they teased him about deliberately cultivating a girl magnet with his hair. That wasn't the real reason he kept it long. It was something Takatori Reiji had suggested. Sometimes after sex, the older man would cradle him in his arms and find contentment in stroking his hair. Letting the silken strands thread through his fingers.
> 
> Was he used to this relationship now? Ran wondered as he touched the mirror and let his fingers glide over his reflection. In a way, he was proud of his achievement. No one knew about what was going on between him and the industrialist Takatori Reiji. His grades were still good; he still socialised and had many friends, though none were close; He was respected as a star player in the tennis team, with a reputation for ruthlessness against his opponent in a game. No one could ever guess how much pain he carried in his heart. His eyes flickered to the red wristbands that lay on the bench in front of his locker. /Not unless someone cared to look under these./
> 
> Ran turned his wrists over to stare at the faint lines on one wrist and the fresh, newly crusted cut that was on the other. His eyes glazed in remembrance of why he had started this self-mutilation. He had been shown yet another aspect of Takatori Reiji's power when he had visited his office not too many months ago. Then, he had been stunned to be introduced to the newly promoted Police Commissioner. To know that the younger brother, Shuuichi held this position-- It was clear enough to Ran that the man could guess what his elder brother was doing the moment he set eyes on him. Reiji even had a challenging glint in his eyes as he dismissed his brother's bristling glare. Nothing ever came of it. Any previous ideas Ran may have entertained of talking to his school counsellors or the police died with that visit. It wasn't very long later that he found one of Takatori's razor blades in his bathroom. Used, Ran did suppose, for rendering heroin when Takatori was in the mood for a hit. It was of some small mercy that Takatori didn't press Ran to give it a try. He wasn't stupid. Also, Ran could argue that he had to stay clean to be on his tennis team. It was too small a matter for the older man to notice that he was missing a couple of blades.
> 
> Putting the comb into his locker, Ran took out the razor that lay beside it and turned toward the sink. The blade ran smoothly across one of the faint lines of his wrist, leaving a trail of red that welled up and started to drip into the sink. Ran could still marvel at how little pain he felt from this action. It hadn't hurt the first time he tried cutting himself, and he was beginning to wonder if it ever would. Then again, Ran had pondered the thought that the physical pain was too insignificant to register to his mind as compared to the agony that was his existence. He took the razor and reopened the wound on his other wrist, noting as he did so that he felt it was painless.
> 
> Trails of red rolled down his arm and splashed on the white porcelain while he watched in morbid fascination. His eyes narrowed in thought as he studied the twin gashes. It seemed like such a small thing to add onto the already numerous bruises and injuries done to the skin of his wrists whenever Takatori Reiji decided he wanted to play bondage games. When the play got too rough, the older man would kiss his wrists and bandage them tenderly before he was allowed to take his leave. It seemed that he was genuinely sorry to hurt him. But Ran didn't believe the man cared about him. Troubled, Ran jerked his eyes away, quickly turned on the taps to wash away the blood and slipped on the wristbands, hiding the cuts and scarring from sight.
> 
> He pushed the rest of his gear into his duffel bag and exited the locker room, heading for the gates of the school. A chill washed over him when he noticed the black limousine waiting around the corner of the school fence. Swallowing his saliva and steeling himself for the encounter, Ran started his walk towards the car. He tried to remind himself that it still wasn't a frequent occurrence. Sometimes more than a month would past, before Takatori would send his chauffeur to pick him up after school. It-- had been a while since the last time Takatori sent for him.
> 
> "Genzo-san." Ran nodded to the old man as he opened the door for him and took his bag.
> 
> "Please, just call me 'Genzo', Fujimiya-san. I-- deserve no respect for these errands." The chauffeur could not meet his eyes. "T--Takatori-sama asks-- you tell your family that you'll be staying at a friend's home tonight."
> 
> "Ahh--" Ran accepted the offered cell phone before he took his seat in the limousine.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

Aya drove out of the hospital's parking garage leaving Mamoru staring after him in shock. The boy's expression had revealed his utter devastation to hear Aya tell him that Takatori Reiji brought about his little sister's coma. //"*Your Otosan.*"//

When he looked back at the boy with his rear view mirror, a twinge of guilt tugged at him as Ken's words echoed in his head again. //"Aya, we cannot choose our relatives."//

It came back, all those memories-- Aya didn't want to think of the violating hands that touched him so intimately. He had stayed by his sister's hospital bed for a long while, letting her silent presence soothe his nerves. Just as her bubbly personality and general cheerfulness would bring a smile to his face in the past, the quiet serenity he found in her presence as she lay in her coma gave him just the few minutes of peace. Her silent company helped him not think about the more sordid past. But now that he had seen Mamoru, that calm was scuttled again. A trickle of a tear started flowing down his cheek.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> "What do you think?"
> 
> Ran looked at his reflection in the mirror sceptically as his father stood beside him. "Otosan, what's so special about these golf clothes?" To him it looked like any normal white, long sleeved, collared t-shirt and brown slacks.
> 
> His father laughed at him. "Mostly the brand name. I know it doesn't look like much, but the cut of the pants is special and gives you room to adopt the proper posture when you swing your club." The elder Fujimiya adjusted the shirt on his son minutely. "Be grateful that Takatori-san has offered to bring you on a course and teach you a bit of Golf culture and etiquette, Ran. The most that the working classes ever see of the game are the driving ranges. It is an expensive game in Japan. Some can only afford to play by taking Golfing tour packages to other countries." The older man's mouth quirked ruefully at the thought. "Even I have never been to a Golf club in Japan before, and our family can be counted as being fairly well off."
> 
> "Why--" Ran wished he could somehow make his father understand that he didn't want to accept this 'honour'. But his father was so excited about the opportunity that had opened for him-- He didn't dare tell his father the truth. He reminded himself that it wouldn't be believed. And if anyone overheard, his family would be shamed. "Why didn't he invite you on the course as well?"
> 
> "I don't play, Ran. The marshals would never let me on the course without a handicap or at least a playing certification from a respected and accredited club. I never had a chance to learn before." The elder Fujimiya shrugged, not feeling at all worried or suspicious. "Besides, Takatori-san already has a full flight with his business associates. They will probably be discussing alliances and partnerships as they play. Pay attention to these four men while you're caddying for them, Ran. You could learn much about high level dealings in industry by listening."
> 
> "But--" Ran was getting desperate. "I've never caddied before. I wouldn't know what to do."
> 
> "Don't worry, Ran. Takatori-san and his flight are all single handicappers. The most they will ask of you is to bring them their clubs or drive the golf cart. You don't need to be nervous, they will make their own decisions about which club to use and how to line up their own putts." The elder Fujimiya patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "Just watch them and learn. If Takatori-san brings you out often enough, you'll soon know how to be a good caddy and offer advice. I'll even buy you your own set of clubs to practise on the driving range.
> 
> "Now you'll need a hat to help you keep your hair out of your face. You should consider wearing it in a ponytail when you're on the course." He fingered his son's mid-back long hair wistfully. "I suppose the girls in your school would be crushed if you were to cut this. Ahh youth, I would never have kept my hair this long in my days. Your imotosan is starting to sulk over not having hair as nice as yours."
> 
> Ran kept his expression carefully schooled as his father left for a short while to look for a cap for him. He was trapped. Even his mother and sister were eager for a chance to spend a weekend as Takatori-san's guests at his golf club. Once they reached the club, Ran doubted that he would see them during the two days that he was to act as Takatori Reiji's caddy.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> All in all, caddying wasn't as intimidating an activity as he had feared it to be. Ran's father was right about the four men being experienced golfers and making their own decisions on the course. They even good-naturedly explained their reasoning behind club choices to him and talked about how the lie of the land influence their decisions of what kind of wood or iron to use. They also explained the scoring system to him and Ran now had a better idea and respect for the skill that went into the mastery of the game. True, he had to do a lot of running back and forth from the golf cart to the players to deliver to them their club of choice. But after nine holes, he could begin to anticipate their needs and have the clubs ready for them with a lot less running. The men appreciated his enthusiasm and Ran was in truth quite comfortable with the event.
> 
> It was-- nice. The only things the men talked about were the game and a business deal, which as he understood it, began in a boardroom as an idea. The course was beautiful. And Ran found that a lot of the tension he had been carrying with him in the run up to the weekend had drained out of him as he accompanied the four men about the course. Unfortunately, that sense of peace and serenity came to an end at the last hole.
> 
> "You'll be staying with me, Little Orchid." Takatori had told him as they left the three men in the changing room at the club to walk to his private chalet to bathe and prepare for the evening's entertainment.
> 
> Ran nodded to this, having already been inwardly resigned to his fate before the weekend started. He even anticipated the man's wondering hand creeping under his shirt the moment they entered the chalet and closed the door after them. Ran had learnt that whenever Takatori called him 'Little Orchid' instead of using his name, the man, in short order, wanted to strip him down for sex.
> 
> This time, however, Takatori took his time. Showering with him first to wash away the suntan lotion, and sweat that accumulated over the course of the game. He even had Run scrub his back as they sat relaxing in the hot pool of the bathing room, letting the heat relax their sore muscles.
> 
> The steam and the hot water was getting to Ran's senses as he felt the tension that he had picked up again on entering the chalet ooze out of him. He was feeling sleepy both from the relaxed atmosphere and from tiredness, to a point where he initially didn't notice Takatori pulling him into his arms to kiss and fondle.
> 
> After so many years as his sex toy, Ran knew better than to protest or fight. It hurt less to let the man do whatever he wanted. When he was pliant and co-operative, Takatori would be considerate and take the time to prepare him for sex. It was just a matter of shutting off a part of himself now. Building that barrier around his heart, letting his body take over and betray him like it always did.
> 
> He didn't like sex. Ran would remind himself that he never liked whatever it was that Takatori did to him. The man always easily made him orgasm, and initially he was confused enough to think that his body was showing him that deep down he enjoyed it. He had passed out the first time he ever achieved an orgasm and woken up hours later, bewildered and scared over what it was he had felt. He knew better now, understanding that it was just physical stimulation. How ever many times they had sex, Ran would never say that he felt good about what Takatori was doing to him. He dealt with it mechanically. Taking it as a matter of course and learnt to ride the tide so that he'd stay awake long enough to see how else Takatori wanted to 'play'. He didn't like to be unaware of what the man was doing to his body.
> 
> Sex in the bath-- This was a new experience. The warmth of the water kept him relaxed and sleepy. It was almost an acute shock in difference to the raging climax he peaked to as Takatori held him in place, pumping into him in long, hard strokes. He was vaguely aware of how he must have looked with his head thrown back and long hair spread over the surface of the water like a silk screen, the expression on his face rapturous in his release. It must surely have been an intensely arousing sight to cause the three men entering the bathing room to discard their towels and splash into the hot pool so quickly.
> 
> "So-- You do have other uses for the boy, Reiji?"
> 
> "Will you share him with us then?"
> 
> Ran jerked upright and clung to Takatori's chest in his shock. He felt his blood chill instantly when he heard the familiar voices appear so close to him. The situation he was in sank into his heat-numbed senses with cruel clarity when an unfamiliar hand slid into his hair and pulled his head back for his assailant to plunder the depths of his mouth.
> 
> "Don't break him, gentlemen." Takatori easily prised his arms loose and delivered him into the clutches of unfamiliar hands. "I've spent a lot of time training him."
> 
> The mouth that was currently devouring his lips muffled any vocal protest he tried to make. He felt other hands catching his flailing limbs and groping him as Takatori released his hips to withdraw, allowing another to slide in his place.
> 
> Ran decided that he didn't like golf. Despite the many more occasions he would caddy for Takatori and the exposure to the various beautiful courses, the end of the day activities killed any liking he had for the game. He refused to let his father buy him his own set of clubs or go anywhere near a driving range. The elder Fujimiya would lament over wasting the opportunity to learn, but for once, he didn't care what his father thought.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


tcb


	3. Chapter 3

Aya stood in front of the racks in the storeroom and tried to control his breathing. He felt frustrated with himself for dwelling on his past memories. Their daily fan club of schoolgirls had gotten on his nerves worse than any other time he could ever remember. He thought he could keep himself under control, but his resolve had faltered and he had retreated into the storeroom on a pretext of getting a vase for an arrangement he was going to work on. That had been at least 15 minutes ago. Aya fleetingly wondered who would be the one who managed to wangle sneaking into the storeroom after him.

"Aya? Could you get that pot for me? It's a bit out of my reach."

/Ken./ Aya glanced back at the younger man and followed the direction of his pointing finger to look at the varicoloured pot which sat on the top shelf. As he reached for it, Ken moved in closer to press against his back in a gesture to help him keep his balance.

"Ken--" Aya growled at him as he handed him the pot.

"Aya-- Have-- have you ever kissed another person?"

Aya could feel the heat of a blush suffuse his cheeks. "Y--Yes."

"Was it good?"

Aya barely withheld the shudder at the memories the question evoked. He frowned, trying desperately not to think of the ravaging kisses Takatori or his colleagues imposed on him. But there was one that held a lot more innocence behind it than he thought was fitting, given the woman's profession.

"She--" An interesting gamut of expressions crossed Ken's face as he spoke. "I'm not sure. It was on my first mission." The relief Ken was feeling about that little fact was almost palpable. "She was a prostitute I was trying to get information from-- She thought I was cute."

"None other memorable ones after that?"

/After? No. Before--/ Aya mentally shook himself out of his uncomfortable thoughts to glare at Ken. "Why are we talking about kisses? It's none of your--"

"I was wondering if I could have one."

Aya was genuinely taken aback, though if he had thought of it, he shouldn't have been surprised that Ken would take this approach. This innocence in expression and attitude remained one of Ken's endlessly appealing traits to him. It amazed Aya that in spite of their 'night time' profession, Ken managed to stave off becoming jaded and cynical. Compared to the rest of them, he still maintained the most 'normal' appearing interactions in his almost daily soccer practice with the neighbourhood kids. It was no secret that the families of the children he coached thought of him warmly. If there was anyone of them who could easily slip into a normal life again, Ken was it.

"Aya?" The sound of Ken's voice shook him out of his reverie.

"I--" Aya didn't move as Ken put the pot on the floor and took a couple of steps towards him. They stood almost face-to-face now, with Aya looking down at him slightly from his taller stance. For once in his life, Aya realised that he was being given a choice. He had never been allowed that much control before. Even with the prostitute, she was the one who pulled him into the kiss without his consent. He didn't know how to answer Ken's request.

"Aya, it's okay if you don't want to." Ken drew back slightly, the disappointment that coloured in his words was unmistakable.

"Ken--?" Aya's thoughts were racing. He knew he could say 'no', but right now-- he was starting to wonder what it would be like to say 'yes' and accept a kiss. How different would it feel, as compared to a kiss forced on him? "Y-yes--?"

Ken blinked at him in surprise and Aya could feel the heat of a blush paint his cheeks again. "Aya? It's okay to say 'no' if you're not ready, you know?" He looked at him softly.

"I-- know."

Gentle hands reached up to touch his face and make him look into green eyes, which were a slight shade different to Youji's. "Aya--"

Soft lips touched his in a sweet kiss and Aya closed his eyes, letting himself be drawn into Ken's arms. Aya couldn't even think to analyse the kiss, but he would say that it felt-- 'good'. He had no feelings of discomfort or shame about sharing a kiss with Ken. However, the moment Aya felt Ken's tongue begin its gentle probe, a tide of panic rushed at him again with renewed memories.

Aya broke the kiss and pushed Ken back. He was aware that his face was white and with their proximity he knew that Ken could feel him trembling.

Ken peered at him in concern. "Aya? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--" Aya could see that there was a rising suspicion behind his gaze as well.

"It-- It's okay-- I'm just not--" Aya pulled himself out of Ken's embrace and reached for the vase he had intended to bring out when he first entered the storeroom.

"Aya? Why-- are you so afr--"

"We have work to do." Aya strode out of the storeroom. He didn't want to hear the full question. He knew his façade of control was cracking. His friends were beginning to notice.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> The party was over and most of the guests already gone. Ran had earlier breathed an inward sigh of relief that he had once more escaped the notice of his father as Takatori brought him around as his companion. Now that he was older, Takatori started having servants do up his hair, paint his face, and dress him in a woman's kimono to attend his functions. It seemed like a greater humiliation for Ran that he could pass it off so easily. Like it or not, he did actually did look demure and sweet as a young woman.
> 
> With the function over, Takatori had retained Ran for the evening. So at present, he was lying gagged, blindfolded and manacled to a bed, wondering what the man had in store for him this time. When Takatori was in the mood, he'd use the wrist manacles with or without the ball gag. Sometimes it was the blindfold and cuffs with the whip or the riding crop, but he had never used all three methods to secure him before. Ran knew Takatori was in the room with him, though he hadn't done any more then to strip and tie him to the bed. Something was about to happen and Ran was quite sure he wasn't going to like it at all.
> 
> As he waited, Ran tried to remember how many people Takatori had spoken to earlier. Unlike previous functions, he couldn't for the life of him recall any special overtures made that evening. He hated being kept in the dark about what was going to happen to him.
> 
> After so many years together, Takatori seemed to think that he was less fragile. It made the functions Takatori had him attend become more cheerless. Previously he had felt somewhat 'guarded' and exclusive to the man. Safe, at least, from the predatory regard of the man's peers. But after his first experience as the man's caddy-- Ran knew that his 'duties' were a lot harder. It seemed that Takatori thought nothing of 'sharing' him and having him service multiple partners. He dreaded the functions even more than he ever had before.
> 
> He learnt to stop crying. The tears made little difference to his users. Sometimes he felt they only added to their amusement. He accepted it now. It was accept or go mad. Takatori Reiji had not said very much to him when he discovered the lines of scars on his wrists. In all probability, the man thought the handcuffs cutting into his skin caused them. So he had since replaced those 'sex aids' with padded manacles and given Ran decorative bangles to wear when he was disguised as his companion.
> 
> The sound of the door opening distracted Ran from his thoughts and his full attention focussed on the one that entered.
> 
> "Mr. Takatori--" Ran frowned at address, it was clear to him that the man speaking wasn't Japanese.
> 
> "You are late."
> 
> "Is-- is this necessary-- I--"
> 
> Ran counted only one new entrant. And though he felt some relief that he did not have to face multiple partners, the nervousness and uncertainty of his would-be-assailant troubled him. He had the feeling that the man's inexperience was going to be the cause of a great deal of pain very soon.
> 
> "A conscience is undesirable to the likes of us."
> 
> "But--"
> 
> "The SS sent you to me to complete your training. Commendable as you are, you still have this dangerous flaw. Compassion is for the weak. For most, their only purpose is to be used by their betters. Some can rise about that station. Can you?"
> 
> "This-"
> 
> "I did not take a stranger off the streets, boy. This one's mine. You should feel honoured."
> 
> "I--"
> 
> "Get on with it, boy."
> 
> Ran felt the bed shift as the new entrant got on beside him. The man was clumsy-- hesitant. It hurt. Despite Takatori's directions, his rapist was hurting him. The greater horror of the act was that the man *didn't* want to hurt him. The pain he caused was truly unintentional. Ran could feel the tears of his pain soaking his blindfold.
> 
> "I-- I'm sorry." His assailant whispered into his ear.
> 
> /Words./ Ran bit into the gag as he tried to ignore the pain. /All you can offer are words and they do nothing to ease the pain./
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

Aya breathed slowly and deeply as he tried to control his thoughts and emotions. He was almost afraid to lift his hands from the pot of gardenias that sat in front of him. He was rattled. The memories that the last mission awakened kept threatening to overwhelm him again. It was as if the floodgates had opened and he was left struggling to stay in control. Just moments earlier, he had been trembling so hard he nearly dropped the pot when he was moving it from the shelf to the table. Fortunately for him, the store was quiet with Omi still at school, and Ken off with his kids at soccer practise. Amusement distracted him from his troubled thoughts as the memory of the parting that took place earlier fleeted across his mind.

Then, Ken had valiantly tried to interest Aya in accompanying him to the field to watch him and his kids play, but he was in no mood to go. Aya didn't have to witness it to know that Youji threw a wide smirk at Ken for that answer, making Ken feel torn at the prospect of leaving the two alone in the store the entire afternoon. Usually, Aya would have been secretly amused at their quiet rivalry but he wasn't in the disposition to enjoy it today.

Even thinking of the pair and the improvement they had gradually nurtured in him did not make him feel better. Given that he had never told anyone of his past trauma, what they had unconsciously done was an accomplishment in itself. He had changed a lot since that time so long ago when he abhorred even the slightest touch of a friend. It took a great deal of patience from Shion and Kikyou to train him into again accepting a casual brush, or even a harmless pet on the shoulder. His time with Crashers was too short for Knight to do much with his overtures of friendship. But together, Ken and Youji had completed his conditioning enough that he could function comfortably in society again.

When he initially joined Weiß, Youji had been-- stressful. The man's casual flirtatious style had put him on guard almost immediately. But he had forced himself to relax and learnt to accept the harmless touches and casual contact. It wasn't until much later that it dawned on him, Youji was actually serious and Ken was interested as well. He started to understand that they were slowly trying to get him used to their closeness before they made an actual move on him.

Aya would be the first to admit that he liked the occasional all too brief cuddle. However, being held for any longer still sent a stab of panic through him that he had a hard time controlling. They knew of this discomfort, and would immediately loosen their hugs enough to soothe his rattled nerves. But noticing how he never tried to fully break free of their embrace, Aya could guess that they thought it was just a fear of intimacy which stopped him from letting them carry it any further. In the last few days though, Aya knew that he hadn't tolerated very much contact from either of the pair.

Lost as he was in his thoughts, Aya almost started violently when Youji seemed to suddenly appear behind him and hook an arm around his neck. "Hey, Aya. Ease up on the kid, will ya? It's not his fault his dad's an asshole."

Aya held himself back from reacting. He reminded himself that Youji might currently be in his personal space, but he really wasn't threatening him; That he was a friend who would back off if he indicated that his touch was not welcomed. Even now, the older man was moving, having sensed his disquiet, but he didn't release him. His arms instead reached around Aya from behind to pull him against his chest while pushing the pot of gardenias away from him.

"Youji--" Aya again forced his panic down. He couldn't believe how jumpy he had become over the last few days. It felt as if he had reverted to what he had been like in his early days at Sendai with his first team.

The grip around his waist loosened slightly, allowing him a little more freedom. "Aya, you've been on the edge since we found out about Omi's parentage. Do you want to talk about it?"

With the speed at which he turned around, Aya almost cracked his head against the chestnut-blonde's nose. The arms encircling him released their grip, but Youji still kept a hand on his waist that bespoke of a determination to get answers.

"Aya, what's wrong?" Youji looked at him seriously. "You're not like this because you hate Omi. And I don't think you really hate Omi. Do you?"

"He's a Takatori."

"He never chose to be one. For god's sake, Aya, the kid can't remember anything about his childhood. He only knows himself as Tsukiyono Omi."

"And you don't think he'll begin to feel any loyalty to our enemies, now that he knows he is Takatori Mamoru?" Aya challenged him, at last finding some secure footing with his anger. "He let his Oniisan go."

"Omi's confused. He'll never turn on us to join that monster. The man abandoned him nearly ten years ago!"

Aya couldn't stop the shudder that ran through his frame. He saw the startled flash in Youji's eyes. "What is it, Aya? It isn't Omi being a Takatori that's bothering you. Can you tell me?"

'Youji, let me go. Please just let me go." He shoved past the older man taking off in a dead run back to his apartment.

"Aya! Wait! Aya!"

He had locked himself in his apartment and buried himself under his blankets, ignoring Youji's knocking and insistent pleas at his door. When Ken returned later, he had tried his luck too, but Aya refused to respond to him as well.

Aya knew that he couldn't hide forever. Ken and Youji would now be sure that something was deeply troubling him and they were good enough friends that they'd try to help him confront the problems. When he next emerged, Aya knew that he would have to be prepared to talk. He couldn't continue to throw indifference in the face of their concern, not if he valued their friendship. But for now, he felt too crippled by his memories to want to come out from his apartment.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> No one in school or at home knew what Takatori was doing to him. Ran thought that that had been one surety in his life. His grades were better than average, his performance on the tennis team was exemplary. He thought his shame was safe from exposure. It was true that he was slightly withdrawn with his peers and did not appear to socialise with them very much. But he knew his classmates and friends thought that he was just being intensely focussed as an athlete and a student. He still got along with them rather well, abate maybe being a bit too serious for a normal 15-year-old, but otherwise there was nothing too out of the ordinary in him. He thought his secrets were safe until the day Coach Kodashi called him to the staff room after practise.
> 
> "Is something the matter, Sensei?"
> 
> "Sit down. Fujimiya Ran, I want you to speak very frankly with me." Kodashi regarded him thoughtfully from across the table.
> 
> "What is it?"
> 
> Before he realised what the older man was up to, Ran found his arm seized in an iron grip and the wristband torn off. He began to tremble when he saw how the newly crusted cut started to bleed again.
> 
> "Kuso!" Kodashi released his arm and turned to grab the first aid kit from an adjoining table.
> 
> "Sensei--" Tears of shame and humiliation started to spill down his face. He had been found out.
> 
> The next few moments dissolved in a haze of confusion. He supposed he must have turned away and tried to run when a hand caught his arm to stop him. His mind had gone blank in fear and he was barely aware that he had started screaming.
> 
> When he finally came to his senses again, Ran found himself enfolded in Kodashi's arms in a tight hug while the other two sports instructors were dabbing alcohol to the cuts on his wrists and wrapping them in bandages. Tears were rolling down his cheeks like an endless flood. Awareness and understanding of Kodashi's gently whispered words came to him slowly.
> 
> "It's okay, Ran. We're not going to hurt you-- We just want to help. We're not going to hurt you--" Ran felt himself responding as he curled into Kodashi's arms feeling protected and comforted for the first time in a long while. "It's okay-- It's okay--"
> 
> It seemed like hours had passed before Ran finally untangled himself from Kodashi's caring embrace. He was seated on the floor in front of Kodashi's desk now, with a mug of hot tea in his hands. Kodashi and his two colleagues staying close, but still allowing him his personal space.
> 
> "Do you feel ready to talk to us, Ran?"
> 
> "I--" He had no more tears. Ran felt exhausted and drained as he leaned back against the desk. One hand absently picked on the bandages of his other wrist.
> 
> "We're here to listen, Ran. We won't judge you." Kodashi told him soothingly. "Look, you don't have to say anything now if you don't want to, okay? Or if you feel more comfortable speaking to the school nurse, you can do that too."
> 
> "I--" He wanted to believe him, but he was afraid. Takatori's warning echoed in his mind again. //"A man of my connections and station? The very idea is preposterous. They would say you're making it up. Your Otosan would be so ashamed of his slut of a son."//
> 
> Ran started as Kodashi carefully came closer and put a hand over his fingers, stopping them from nervously picking at the bandage. "We care, Ran. What ever you tell us. We will believe yo--"
> 
> "No-- No, you won't. No, you won't. It's unbelievable. He said that no one would believe me." A hand caught the mug from him before he dropped it. Ran knew that he was becoming hysterical but he couldn't help it. "His sword's too strong, his jewels' too much. He's too powerful. No one will listen to the whore--"
> 
> "Ran!"
> 
> A tight slap brought him back to his senses and he found himself staring into Kodashi's eyes. "I-- remember seeing you start to wear these red wristbands-- three-four years ago." Kodashi asked him softly. "Is that how long-- it's been going on?"
> 
> "About..."
> 
> "Who is it, Ran? Please believe us. We can help you. We can stop this."
> 
> "No." A memory of seeing the Police Commissioner visiting his elder brother came to him again. Ran shook his head as he looked away. "No, you can't!"
> 
> "Ran, listen to me." Kodashi gripped his chin, forcing him to look up at him. "No one-- *no one* has any right to make you feel this scared. No one-- has any right to make you feel so bad about yourself that you'd do this." Kodashi took his hand and turned his wrist up, making him look at the bandages.
> 
> "I can't, Sensei." Ran's voice reflected how he felt, tired and weak. "He will ruin my Chichi. He--" Ran suddenly turned his head to stare at the clock that hung on the wall in shock. "Outside-- sometimes he'd send his chauffeur to wait for me after practice. I'm-- late--"
> 
> "We are *not* letting you walk out of school and straight into the bastard's arms, Fujimiya!" Kodashi's face turned black.
> 
> "Wait, Ran. What if you're with friends or-- or if you're with teachers?" One of the other teachers interrupted him.
> 
> Ran frowned at them trying to think. "He-- I don't know-- I-- I guess his chauffeur usually makes sure no one is around before he approaches me."
> 
> "Good. Then we're walking you home today, Ran. Today and every day of the week until you feel ready to talk to us, your Otosan, the nurse, or to the police."
> 
> "The police won't touch him." Ran looked down again.
> 
> "Ran--"
> 
> "It's not very often. Sometimes-- I don't-- see him for a couple of months. Please-- please don't tell my Chichi--"
> 
> "It's not right, Ran." Kodashi sighed in resignation as he gently pulled Ran to his feet. "But we won't say anything until you're ready, okay? Come on, it's late. But let me reiterate this, Fujimiya Ran, we are walking you home from school from now on!"
> 
> Ran thought he caught a glimpse of the black limousine as they left the school. But if Genzo was there, he kept out of sight.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> Coach Kodashi and his other colleagues had kept their word and walked him home every day after school and practice. Ran could feel his confidence growing to be in their company, especially since they artfully arranged the trips to be like a social gathering of the tennis team. Somehow, always conspiring to leave him at the gates of his home before the whole group dispersed. No one was the wiser about the pact the teachers made with him. A pickup by the black limousine after school seemed like a thing of the past. Ran was actually beginning to feel hopeful when the nightmare came crashing down on him.
> 
> "Ran?" His father's voice came to him from out of a fog. His whole body felt numbed and his head stuffed with cotton wool. The room seemed entirely too bright as he blinked at the only dark shape before him. "Ran, can you hear me?"
> 
> "Otosan?" His throat hurt-- his voice raspy and dry from misuse. A straw was quickly placed at his lips and he sucked the cool soothing water. As he drank, he tried to figure out where he was and how he had come to be there. But he was drawing a blank.
> 
> Eventually, his vision cleared enough for him to focus on his father's face as the man hovered in concern in front of him. "Wh-- what happened?"
> 
> "Ran..."
> 
> He could see that his father's face was wet with tears as if he had been recently crying. Questions kept bludgeoning his senses. What was going on? He felt his father's hand brush his bangs out of his eyes tenderly.
> 
> "Everything's going to be okay. You're safe now. You-- and your team mates are in the Magic Bus hospital. Takatori Reiji is paying for everything."
> 
> "Otosan? I-- don't understand."
> 
> "You've all been missing for over two weeks. The police found you about a week ago. We thought-- you were so still-- we thought..."
> 
> "Two--?" He didn't understand what was going on. "What-- happened to-- us?"
> 
> "Can you remember anything? Anything at all?" The elder Fujimiya held his hand in his, kissing it and rubbing it, as if in assurance to have him present before him.
> 
> "I-- was coming home from school-- Nothing-- I don't remember." Ran blinked at his father deeply troubled at the lost time.
> 
> "Then maybe it's better that way, but-- Ran-- why didn't you tell me?"
> 
> "Tell--?" Ran's heart froze when he realised his father's fingers were tracing the lines of the scars across his wrists.
> 
> "Ran, I am your Otosan. You can tell me anything. Anything at all-- I would believe you first. I-- I have failed you as an Otosan if you think that you cannot bring your problems to me, or to your Okasan."
> 
> "But--"
> 
> "I would have believed you, Ran! Why did you let Kodashi do this to you?" The elder Fujimiya stroked his son's wrist as he looked him in the eye. "Nothing is worth this pain, Ran. Tennis-- the championships--"
> 
> "Sense--"
> 
> "He is no sensei to have done this to his students!"
> 
> "What?" Ran was so utterly confused, the interruption of a knock on his door felt very welcomed. The person entering, however--
> 
> "Fujimiya-san? Ran, you're awake again! It is a great relief to everyone." Takatori Reiji nodded to them as he came into the room.
> 
> "Takatori-sama, I cannot-- I cannot thank you enough for everything that you have done for my family and for the families of the other students." Ran lay back stunned as his father turned to grip the man's hand and shake it firmly.
> 
> " It is the least I can do. I am an Otosan too, Fujimiya-san. " Takatori Reiji petted the hand holding his solicitously. He dropped his voice to speak softly, though Ran could still pick out the words he said. "There will be no blemish on your name or on the names of the other families. As minors, the newspapers will not release the names of the boys."
> 
> "Still, I know two of the families will be leaving Tokyo."
> 
> "And yourself, Fujimiya-san?"
> 
> "I still have my business, here, Takatori-sama. But if it will be best for Ran to leave--?"
> 
> "No, I believe your son is strong and he will not run from his problems."
> 
> /Trapped./ That was the only thought which occupied Ran's mind after the man left.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> A month later, Ran was no closer to understanding what had happened to him and the tennis team. His teachers and classmates had welcomed him back resoundingly and embraced him back into school, but they remained tight-lipped over anything that had to do with the tennis team. He met with a couple of his Sempai in the team, but they were quiet about what occurred too, though he noticed that they had surreptitiously become very protective of him.
> 
> They had let him meet with the team mate who had to be placed in the mental institution, thinking that Ran could reach him and help extract him from his catatonic state. That proved to be a disaster when the older boy grabbed hold of Ran and nearly smothered him in his bed, screaming for 'them' to leave Ran alone and not to touch him. The session had left Ran shaken and crying in confusion. After the nurses sedated the boy to make him let Ran go and his sempai carried him out of the room, Ran had again demanded to be told what had happened to him. But the doctors gently told him that it was in his greatest interest that others not tell him, and that he would best handle the trauma if he slowly remembered while under the supervision of a counsellor.
> 
> There was no avoiding the counsellor. His father scheduled weekly meetings for him, but he was still too scared to open up or say much, even through the assurances that the ones who had abused him were dead. Ran was the only person who knew it to be a well-crafted lie. The truth was that Takatori Reiji managed to manipulate the circumstances to make everyone believe Kodashi was the one who had been abusing him. Ran knew the man well enough by now to guess that he would eventually reveal his hand to gloat. So he bided his time and waited.
> 
> A familiar black limousine glided beside Ran about two months after his discharge from the hospital. He thought nothing of sliding into the car almost immediately.
> 
> "It was a mistake, Ran." Takatori Reiji started speaking after the limousine door closed.
> 
> "They were trying to protect me." Ran wouldn't look at him.
> 
> "Do I really hurt you?" Callused fingers gripped his chin and made him look up. I've always been gentle with you, Ran. Even when I share you with my friends, I would never let them hurt you. And when they do unintentionally cause you pain, don't I always make it up to you?"
> 
> "What did you do to Kodashi Sensei and to the other teachers?
> 
> "Nothing. They chose to commit suicide rather than let the law deal with them." Takatori Reiji released him and leaned back in his seat. "It would not have been pretty to face the courts on charges of child slavery and abuse. I heard that their wives and children took poison to escape the shame as well."
> 
> "What-- what was the story behind it?" Ran persisted in asking.
> 
> "No one has told you?" Takatori arched an eyebrow at him.
> 
> Ran shook his head.
> 
> "The police reasoned that Kodashi was running a child prostitution ring. Regularly drugging his students and hiring them out, when a particularly lucrative deal came up. Unfortunately, complications arose and he must have miscalculated the dosage of drugs because some of the students were still conscious. When one of these students died in the orgy, Kodashi panicked, sold the remaining students in an auction and tried to run. But the police closed in on him, tracked down the buyers and managed to retrieve all the students before you could disappear into the underworld."
> 
> Ran was starting to tremble. He was vaguely aware of Takatori when the man reached over to stroke a hand through his hair. The blood was pounding in his head loud enough to make him feel faint.
> 
> "Of the surviving students, you are probably the only one who has no recollection of what happened. Given that the other students also could not recall any previous experience of abuse, the police have turned some considerable attention towards finding the labs that manufactured the drugs Kodashi used on you. No one has yet speculated how long Kodashi ran this prostitution racket and how many unknowing victims he's taken advantage of.
> 
> "Such an unbelievable tale to imagine... I heard Coach Kodashi was very popular among his students. Someone even mentioned that he once remember him giving you special attention."
> 
> Takatori threw a heavy packet of photographs on the seat beside him.
> 
> "One student who was conscious during the ordeal had to be institutionalised. I believe your sempai brought you to see him? Two of the families have since moved away. I heard of at least one successful suicide several weeks ago...
> 
> "I don't believe any of your team mates have looks that approach your beauty, Ran. In the opinion of your fellow team mates, you appeared to be the one who was most victimised during the orgy." Takatori's voice was without emotion as Ran leafed through the lurid pictures. "You have always been strong, Ran. That weakling student wasn't put through half as much as you endured."
> 
> Ran shoved the photographs away from him. He whole body was shaking hard now and he was gasping for breath. Tears running like rivers down his face.
> 
> "Ran?"
> 
> He started to scream, his trembling hands reaching up to tear heedlessly at his long hair. He screamed in cycles, stopping only long enough to breathe before he continued screaming again. His screaming went on unabated even through the two tight slaps that make his cheeks sting. A tiny part of his mind told him that he had been hit hard enough to develop bruises, but he wasn't aware of anything else. Not of Takatori Reiji holding his wrists to stop him from clawing at his face. Not of the man shaking him and trying to shout him down.
> 
> A hard mouth finally crushed over his lips, muffling his screams.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> Ran slowly awakened to his surroundings as a murmur of voices intruded on the secure darkness encompassing him, dragging him back to consciousness. His senses gently let him know that he was being cradled against a strong wide chest and carried somewhere. His awareness soon sharpened enough to let him recognise the murmuring voices as that of his father and mother. Then the figure carrying him started to bend over and lay him down in what he recognised was his own bed. By the time his blankets were tucked securely around him, Ran was fully awake. But he didn't feel like letting anyone know that he was conscious.
> 
> "Takatori-sama-- I cannot-- I cannot thank you enough for finding him for us." His mother's voice sounded to him as if she had been recently crying. A twinge of guilt tugged at him for the worry he had brought to his family.
> 
> "After-- after learning of the latest suicide-- knowing that he'd been playing at slashing his own wrists for the last-- the last--" His father's voice sounded raw and broken. "We-- were afraid--"
> 
> "Fujimiya-san, it is over. Do not remind Ran of this. He is safe now."
> 
> "Takatori-sama. Thank you. Thank you for all that you've done for us."
> 
> Ran willed himself back into oblivion, wishing that he could go to sleep and never wake up.
> 
> [End Flashback]
>
>>   
> 
>> 
>> tcb


	4. Chapter 4

Aya cut the bonds that held Omi's arms over his head and freed his wrists. "Can you stand, Omi?" he asked softly as he knelt before the boy.

Omi had looked up at him, shocked at the concern he could hear in his voice. "Aya-kun, why did you come to save me, a Takatori?"

"Omi," Aya closed his eyes as he gave thought to his words carefully. //"You are not my Oniisan!// Omi's screamed words at Takatori Hirofumi rang in his mind again. It found resonance with another memory he had. //"He was no son of mine."// "You are not Takatori Mamoru. You are Tsukiyono Omi."

"Aya-kun." The joy reflected in the boy's eyes at his acceptance was enough to add to Aya's resolve.

Aya gently helped Omi to his feet and supported him as they hurried out of the building. /I've been blind. He is not your Otosan, Omi. So many things are suddenly clearer now if this is true. An Otosan does not abandon his child./

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> It seemed almost strange for him not to have his Saturday Tennis activities anymore. The school had since brought in a new coach, but Ran felt little desire to continue playing. His friends and family did not question his decision. In any case, he now spent most of his Saturday afternoons with the counsellor.
> 
> In the two years that he had been seeing her, the woman still could not circumvent the barrier that prevented Ran from completely confiding in her. It was extremely frustrating for the counsellor and Ran sometimes felt sorry for her. He had already shared as much as he dared to reveal, but he knew he was not healing. He faithfully attended his sessions with the thwarted counsellor even though he did not see any point in it. Not after the show of power Takatori Reiji had flexed so blatantly before him.
> 
> Takatori's money was paying for the counsellor's time. How could he ever tell her that the man who paid the bills was also the one who was abusing him? How could the counsellor ever hope to show any progress? How ever much the woman tried to convince him that he was 'safe' and could confide in her, he did not believe her. How could he? When Takatori Reiji would inevitably have his chauffeur to pick him up at the Fujimiya household to send him for his sessions, and convey him, when his hour was over, straight to Takatori's office.
> 
> He had a brief respite from Takatori's attentions in the six months that followed the nervous breakdown, which saw the man carrying him home. Friends and family alike carefully watched his every move to ensure he would not turn to suicide. Even Aya-chan planned her time around him. On days when she finished her classes before him, she'd waited in the library until his were over so that she could walk home with him. It touched him to see that she would forego spending time with her own peers to be with him. Beyond that first time, Takatori avoided picking Ran up after school when his sister was with him. So there was little chance for Takatori Reiji to sneak him away during the weekday.
> 
> However, he was not spared from the many weekend golf outings. If his heart had not already been bleeding, Ran would have laughed at the irony of having his oblivious father eagerly handing him over to the care of his abuser to be gang raped on the weekends as an 'escape' from the stress of school.
> 
> With his secrets exposed, Ran could not even relieve his disquietude by flirting with suicide. Concerned family and friends were watching his wrists and arms. Vigilant for any sign that he might be mutilating himself again. If there was any escape, it was with books and writing. That was the only success the counsellor could claim. It was the only outlet Ran could trust. He read almost voraciously now, pouring all his heart into his schoolwork and books since he lost his physical release with his withdrawal from competitive tennis. His writing and poetry continued to cry out with his pain and need for release. But that was all that was in his writing-- A plea for the desire to be free. He could progress no further.
> 
> For all the concern his family, friends and counsellor showed him, Takatori Reiji had him trapped. After the 'incident' with Kodashi Sensei-- Ran knew it as a warning that Takatori would destroy anyone who would try to get in his way. So Ran endured. To keep his family and friends safe, he told himself that he could go on and that the part of him that was hurt was already too numbed to feel any more pain.
> 
> If there was any good that came out of that-- incident, it was that Ran's father made more time for himself to spend with his family; Sometimes coming home early from work to surprise them and occasionally taking them out to dinner as a treat. Ran was genuinely touched by his father's efforts. However, it was perhaps because his father started coming home earlier and spending more time with him that Ran's carefully constructed façade showed its cracks.
> 
> "Ran?"
> 
> He turned on his futon groggily to face his father as the elder Fujimiya entered his room to kneel beside his bed.
> 
> "Your Okasan told me you weren't feeling well." His father's hand reached out to gently brush his bangs out of his eyes.
> 
> "I'm okay, Otosan. Just tired." /And sore./ He added privately. Takatori Reiji picked him up after school again. The older man had been in a hurry that day. Not even taking the time to engage in foreplay and stretch him properly before using him in the limousine. At least he still remembered the condom, so Ran didn't need to lie or hide any evidence from his mother when she saw him being dropped off.
> 
> "You've been sick more often lately."
> 
> "I'm just tired. The final exams will be starting soon."
> 
> "No, you've-- Maybe because we see you every day, we don't really see the gradual changes, but you look very different now since..."
> 
> Ran frowned at the statement. He never gave much thought to it before. His physical appearance had changed considerably since-- Takatori entered his life 7 years ago. Back then he kept his hair short, loved to be out in the sun-- had a ready laugh. Now, he had long, silky hair that reached down to mid-back. After he left the tennis team, his skin had taken on a very pale hue from lack of exposure. A coloration that Takatori apparently liked since he made Ran wear gloves and use maximum protection suntan lotion, so that he wouldn't burn when they were on the golf course. Most disheartening of all his changes was that he had lost his smile.
> 
> It would only make brief appearances whenever he was with his family, especially with his younger sister Aya-chan. But otherwise, he never laughed anymore. Not a genuine laugh in any case. If he laughed at all, there always seemed to be a cynical edge to it now.
> 
> "I just grew up--" Ran looked away as he tried not to feel the twinge within him for the changes.
> 
> "Ran? How often does Takatori's chauffeur drive you home?"
> 
> Ran held himself in control. The only indication of his fright at hearing this question was the rapid beating of his heart. "It's not regular-- Only when he happens to be around."
> 
> "Especially when you stay late to-- study?"
> 
> "Yes."
> 
> "Is Takatori in the car with you?"
> 
> "S-- Sometimes." Ran told him cautiously.
> 
> "When he isn't-- that's when his driver sends you to his home or to his office, isn't it?"
> 
> Ran suddenly felt trapped. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer this.
> 
> The elder Fujimiya's face went very pale as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his eyes were blazing with an unholy fire. "It wasn't Kodashi who was abusing you, was it?" He asked very quietly.
> 
> Ran trembled as he started to scramble backwards on his bed, feeling suddenly afraid of his father for once in his life as the man loomed over him with anger and fury radiating from him like a furnace. The elder Fujimiya's hand shot out to catch his son's arm, preventing him from moving further away.
> 
> "Ran! Kodashi never touched you, did he?!"
> 
> He cringed before his father's furious gaze, whimpering slightly at the punishing grip. At his pained gasp, the elder Fujimiya released him in aghast and suddenly pulled him against his chest in a tight hug.
> 
> "Ran-- I've been blind for so long. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
> 
> "O-Otosan?" Ran was confused.
> 
> "Takatori Reiji." His father spat the name out. "It-- it was he who was abusing you, wasn't it?"
> 
> Ran stiffened at the pronouncement. He felt himself trembling almost violently. "He-- he--"
> 
> "Ran?" His father pushed him away for a moment and sat on the bed to look at his son straight in the eye. "I will believe you. Tell me the truth. Is it Takatori Reiji who has been abusing you?"
> 
> As his throat was too tight for him to voice out an answer, Ran answered in the only way he could. He nodded. Shameful tears started to roll down his cheeks.
> 
> His father's hand reached up to brush at the tears as his own eyes welled up. "You-- you didn't want to tell me because-- I kept falling for his lies. Ran-- I'm so sorry. But why? Why did-- No... I-- I think I remember.
> 
> "Ran-- that-- that initial investment I was looking for seven years ago-- was that-- was that when Takatori Reiji first made you--"
> 
> Ran couldn't look at his father anymore. He just nodded. He shrank back, as if expecting his father to hit him for his stupidity. His father's hand lifted his chin gently making him meet his eyes.
> 
> "Ran-- I would never have asked you-- Ran--" His father shook his head in horror and guilt. "Kami-sama-- What-- what does he do with you when-- those golfing weekends--"
> 
> "He-- he-- shares-- he-- " Ran trembled violently. He couldn't look into his father's eyes anymore.
> 
> The elder Fujimiya pulled his son into his arms, holding him tight. "Ran-- I'm so sorry. I have failed you again as an Otosan... Been-- been blinded by his power and influence-- Ran-- Ran-- "
> 
> Ran let himself cry as his father held him and rocked him in his arms. He felt suddenly exhausted from the release of tension to know that his father still loved and accepted him despite his taint. He realised that Takatori had been wrong. His father hadn't regarded him with shame or disgust. Takatori Reiji could not have been wider off the mark in his assessment of the elder Fujimiya's reaction to the truth...
> 
> "I will kill him. I will kill him for what he's don--"
> 
> "No!" Ran pushed himself back and griped his father's arms in panic. "Kodashi-- Otosan, he will destroy you. He did with--"
> 
> "Ran, I cannot--!"
> 
> "It-- it's a little thing-- He-- he is too powerful-- Otosan-- I'm not worth--"
> 
> "You are worth more to me than all the riches in Emperor's treasury!" The elder Fujimiya shook him hard. "Ran! I cannot let you-- let you whore yourself to that-- that-- beast to protect us!"
> 
> "And-- how will you help me-- if you die-- like Kodashi-Sensei." Ran bowed his head at his father's anguished expression. "Takatori's-- ototosan is the Police Commissioner-- working under the Department of Justice. What-- can we do? I-- I can endure a little longer-- It-- really isn't all that often. I've grown older. He'll-- probably be tired of me soon."
> 
> "No! I will not-- I will not close one eye and let this go on!" The elder Fujimiya told his son firmly. "Now that I've come to my senses-- yes, I can see what you see, that-- we will risk too much if we dare to try and expose his-- abominable actions. I will dispose of the company, our assets, everything. We will leave Japan, Ran. I will take you away from him."
> 
> "Will he let you go?"
> 
> "We will not let him know we are leaving, Ran." The elder Fujimiya told his son fiercely. "I *will* free you from him."
> 
> Ran began to hope again.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> At his father's suggestion, Ran took up a part time job. One that would fill the free time he had between school and when his father finished work. Just so that his father could be the one to pick him up at the end of the day and bring him home.
> 
> With a little bit of acting, they had worked out a valid reason that would not raise Takatori's suspicions. Especially since Ran opted to take a position of menial labour, working as a waiter. An employment Takatori Reiji clearly disapproved of, but which gave sound reasoning as a job designed to teach Ran of humility and consideration to his employees. The man was especially sour about the lingering smell of cheap oil that would cling to Ran's hair from his work. Since Ran started his part time job, Reiji had been noticeably reluctant to extend overtures for his company. Aya-chan was noticing that her brother was beginning to have a sense of humour again.
> 
> Still, the job was hard and the grooming problems with his hair were getting to Ran as well. It was on impulse that Ran dealt with the vexation one evening after he spent more than an hour trying to get his hair clean. His mother and father had bust in on him while he was in the bathroom after they had found one of the kitchen knives missing.
> 
> Ran turned to look at them, the sink filled with wet lengths of red hair that he had easily shorn off with the sharp knife. His head felt strangely light without the expense of hair. His father held a hand out to his mother silencing what ever she wished to say as he entered the bathroom. Ran remained still as he felt his father touch his short hair, then letting his fingers thread through the momiage that hung beside his face.
> 
> "A small reminder, Ran?" He had asked kindly.
> 
> "Something like that. I should-- never forget where I've come from."
> 
> "Okusan, bring a pair of scissors." The elder Fujimiya shook his head at his wife and laughed as he let his fingers tousled his son's short hair. "Let us at least make this neat instead of the hack job it looks like right now."
> 
> That was the last time Ran could remember sharing a laugh with his mother and father. A week later, an explosion in the Fujimiya trading offices made him an orphan and put his sister in a coma.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

Ken and Youji had found him sitting in the dark on the sofa of the mission room with his knees drawn up to his chest. After the interaction with Omi earlier that evening, it looked as if whatever issues he had had with Omi being a Takatori were resolved. So Aya guessed that they must have been puzzled to see him like this.

"Yo, Aya?" Youji came up beside him cautiously. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Sometimes it helps, you know." Ken appeared on his other side, taking care not to crowd him. "To talk about it, I mean."

From their cautious stance, Aya could theorise that the two men had discussed it and come to the conclusion that he was going through some form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. How it was related to Omi's identity as Takatori Mamoru though, was a link that they couldn't establish.

"Is-- is this in someway related to your imotosan?" Ken asked softly.

Aya blinked in inward puzzlement, he didn't remember ever mentioning his sister to any of them before. Then the memory of his first encounter with Ken returned to him, reminding him that Ken had read or heard of the accident that killed his parents and put her in a coma. Ken had also been there when Manx gave him the details of where Kritiker had moved Aya-chan for her protection after he had agreed to join Weiß.

"Aya?"

Youji's call roused him from his thoughts and drew his attention back to the two men. They still hadn't tried to come any closer to him, probably having rationalised that he was currently jittery over any uninvited proximity. Aya reminded himself that this was a moment he had possibly never encountered before. Where previously he had been found out and had been forced to disclose the details of his shame, this time he had the choice to talk about it. Knowing that if he decided not to, the two people with him now would not press him again and respect his privacy. So long as he showed that he was dealing with it, it would not come up again. But-- he didn't want to keep secrets from them anymore.

"It's not my imoto." The words came out in a whisper as he tightened his hold around his knees. "Something-- started long before that..."

"Has it-- got to do with the scars on your wrists?"

Aya stiffened slightly, surprised that Youji had noticed. Then he recalled that Weiß had treated his injuries often enough when he was unconsciousness that they could have easily become aware of the marks on his wrists. This was the first time he could recall any reference made about them though.

"If you don't want to talk about it--" Youji hastily added when the silence stretched on.

"Aya, we will listen-- if-- if you _do_ want to talk about it, you know?" Ken told him gently.

"In-- in part... Omi-- should be here too. It-- it has to do with him. And-- maybe why he can't remember his past."

"He should be home soon, Aya." Youji nodded. "Hey, come on, Aya. That has got to be a damn uncomfortable position."

Aya blinked as he turned to look at the chestnut blonde.

"I've been in worse positions."

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> He looked at the world through the haze of pain and drugs. Still Ran retained enough sagacity to reflect on his last mistake with Takatori Reiji. His father, mother-- his sister-- They had all paid the price for their defiance to Takatori's wishes. His parents were dead, his sister was in a coma. By whatever miracle of fate decreed it, he alone had been spared from harm by the explosion that decimated the Fujimiya Company building. But he had not remained unscathed for very long.
> 
> He-- he should not have fought back. Maybe it was grief or anger that fuelled his public rejection of Takatori Reiji's offer to join his household. Whatever it was, it was still a mistake. It had been much too easy for Takatori to track him down in private later. Have him kidnapped--
> 
> Torn, bleeding-- every part of him was in pain. 'One last fling.' The man had told him as he ripped off his clothes. He lay in a world of hurt. He had never been so badly treated before. What pain he ever experienced at the man's hands paled to nothing in comparison.
> 
> "God in hell!"
> 
> "It's just a job."
> 
> Two men-- both sounding strangely familiar. He was too out of it to show any indication that he was aware of their presence. Surprisingly gentle hands unlocked the handcuffs from around his wrists and laid his arms over his body.
> 
> "The boy's still alive."
> 
> "What do you want to do about it? Mr. Takatori told us-- damn."
> 
> "Had a vision?" Ran could hear the clear amusement in the other man's tone.
> 
> "Fine! Have it your way. Just don't get caught." An American accent-- he remembered Takatori bringing an American to him once. "If-- it's any comfort to you-- he'll live if you know what to do."
> 
> "He's a special kid. Noticed me before the bombing-- picked me out again after it." An image of a foreigner with green hair came to him.
> 
> "I don't want to hear it."
> 
> He blacked out from pain the moment he felt them shift him.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> His next awakening was less painful. Ran roused to see his counsellor sitting beside his hospital bed.
> 
> "Ran-- please tell me. Who is doing this to you?" Her eyes were full of tears as she regarded him. "I guessed so long ago-- I was hoping you'd eventually tell me-- Please, we can help you. You can trust us."
> 
> "How did I--?"
> 
> "You were found on the hospital steps. Someone must have been concerned enough-- Ran, please. Before whoever it is kills you--"
> 
> "He's already killed me, doctor." He interrupted her. "He's too influential a man--"
> 
> "And you have Takatori Reiji on your side. He has connections with the Police Commissioner, he can help--"
> 
> "He will do nothing!" Ran pushed himself up violently and immediately regretted it when pain flooded all his senses. His counsellor quickly caught him and eased him back into the pillows.
> 
> "He-- will not do anything against this man." He choked out through the pain as he stared into her eyes. "Please doctor-- don't bill him anymore. I will pay you. I--"
> 
> "Ran, this isn't about money!"
> 
> "But it is, Doctor. He's getting away with all this because-- The Sword, the Jewel, and the Mirror... He has money, and influence. He has power that I cannot fight. I know that now."
> 
> "Ran--"
> 
> "It's not worth it Doctor. I've lost everything because I had no power to fight back-- I have even less now." Despite the pain, Ran rolled on his side away from her. "I have-- an imoto to-- pay hospital bills for-- I have nothing else."
> 
> "Ran, don't give up. Don't let the bastard win." She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away from her violently, suddenly feeling the abhorrence to receiving even a reassuring touch. "I'll-- come by later to check on you, okay? Ran--"
> 
> He didn't turn to see her leave.
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> "Fujimiya Ran?"
> 
> Ran looked up at the unfamiliar voice to see a redhead woman in a red suit entering his room.
> 
> "We don't know each other, but you can call me Erika. Have you ever heard of an organisation called Kritiker?"
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


tcb


	5. Chapter 5

Omi came down to the mission room to find them all quietly waiting for him.

"Omi?"

"It's-- done. Takatori Hirofumi is dead." He told them in a dead voice.

"Omi, come over here and sit down." Aya told him softly though he didn't turn around to look at him as he stood on the stairs. Aya was still seated with his arms around his knees, staring at his wrists.

The boy blinked in surprise to see Aya in that position. But he complied and walked over to take one of the remaining seats around the coffee table.

"Omi--" Aya still didn't uncurl from his position or look up. "Now-- that you have some idea of your past, have your memories returned?"

"My memories?"

"Of your time with your family before the kidnapping of Takatori Mamoru."

"I am Tsukiyono Omi!" He snarled defensively. "Takatori is not my family."

"I don't believe that Takatori Reiji is your Otosan, Omi."

"Huh?"

"I know-- that Takatori Reiji used to love his sons. And he loved his youngest son, Mamoru most of all." Aya uncurled himself and rested his arms on his knees as he finally looked at Omi. "Ten years ago, something changed that. Something that made him reject this youngest boy as his son. Perhaps-- it was because you were not the son of Takatori Reiji."

Ken and Youji were staring between Aya and Omi in confusion. Aya regarded Omi calmly.

"I-- I don't-- I don't--" Omi was starting to tremble.

Aya rose to his feet and reached out to grip Omi about his arms. "Remember, Omi. This is for your own good. Remember, so that you can move on."

Omi's teeth started to chatter as he fought an internal battle within himself. His memories flooded back into him. "He-- he called her a whore. Said-- said I was not his-- I was-- he was grabbing me-- I didn't-- didn't like it-- He frightened me."

Aya pulled him into a gentle hug when he stopped speaking. "So you ran away?"

Tears escaped Omi's eyes in torrents. "Yes-- Oh god-- oh god-- My Chichi was-- was-- molesting me-- so I-- I ran away-- straight-- into the arms of those-- kidnappers-- "

"Shit--" Ken cursed under his breath. "That-- bastard. And that's why you couldn't remember your past. You were blocking memories of-- Bastard!"

"Oh god, Aya-kun." Omi clutched at the shirt he was pressed against.

"It's okay, Omi. He can't hurt you now." Aya told Omi soothingly as he let the boy cry in his arms. "He isn't your Otosan, Omi. You are not a Takatori."

It was some moments before Omi could get himself under control again enough to stop crying. "Aya-kun, thank you. I'm all right now." Aya released the younger boy and let him take a few steps away.

"Aya?" Youji cocked his head towards him in curiosity. "How-- did you know about Takatori Reiji and his sons?"

Aya had to take a deep breath before he answered. "I-- was Takatori Mamoru's whipping boy."

"Whip--?" Ken's eyes widened to their physical limits in shock as recognition of the term's use came to him.

"Over ten years ago-- to save my Chichi's business and-- to spare Mamoru from the attentions of his Otosan-- I let Takatori Reiji take me as his lover." Peripherally, Aya could sense that Youji and Ken had come flying to their feet now. He couldn't look at any of them as he talked. "That is why I know he used to love his youngest son. He claimed that it was a lesser sin to use me, rather than commit incest with his son."

"Aya-kun--?" Omi stared at him in alarm as he started to tremble again, new tears of horror spilling from his eyes.

"After you were gone, he continued to take advantage of me because he claimed he like me-- and that I would carry on helping my Chichi that way." Aya went on as he stared at his feet. He noted that his face neither felt flushed red with embarrassment and shame, nor was it white with fright or anxiety. He felt as if he was in a sea of calm as he spoke. Finally finding release in sharing his secrets at last, instead of hiding like he had done for the last 10 years. It felt good to, so to speak, 'lay the cards on the table'.

"My Chichi only found out when I was 17. He-- he tried to free me. Our family was going to leave Japan but Takatori found him out and arranged an accident. He thought-- he thought that left alone I would cling to him since I had no one else. I refused-- he-- he left me for dead and Kritiker found me later."

"Aya--" Omi stumbled forward to take one of his hands. "Aya-kun-- I'm-- I'm sorry-- I-- it's my fault-- I--"

"I hated you then." Aya looked kindly into the younger boy's tear-filled eyes. "But I was wrong to feel that way about you, Omi. It is *not* your fault. I cannot blame you for the sickness within Takatori Reiji. You didn't know. And there was nothing you could have done anyway had you known."

"Aya-kun--" Omi pulled slightly on the hand he held. Aya sank to his knees and let Omi take him in his arms. Giving him comfort in the same way he had earlier offered it to Omi.

"I'm glad you managed to escape him, Omi." Aya murmured against him. "I would never wish-- what Takatori had done to me on another person. He is not your Otosan. I don't believe that you have any blood relation with him, so you cannot claim guilt by association. This is my cross to bear, not yours."

"Aya-kun--"

"I don't hate you, Tsukiyono Omi. What problems I have-- is only between Takatori Reiji and me."

"Aya, *don't* think of it that way."

Aya looked up from where he had been leaning his head on Omi's shoulder to see Youji approaching them.

"You are not alone in this. This isn't a vendetta between Takatori and you. We care about you and Omi, and this-- he hurt you." Youji knelt down beside them and rested a hand on his shoulder.

Aya felt the chill start within him at this gesture. Previous words of assurance that were once spoken to him surfaced in his mind again. //"It's okay, Ran. We're not going to hurt you-- We just want to help. We're not going to hurt you--"//

"We will bring him to justice, Aya." Ken moved to kneel on his other side. "We'll give you and Omi our solemn vow. We will meet justice on to Takatori Reiji."

Aya started to stiffen as fear wrapped its fingers around him again. //"We will leave Japan, Ran. I will take you away from him."//

"You are not fighting alone, Aya-kun." Omi murmured to him gently. "You don't have to face this on your own when we're here for you."

The wave of panic crested over him. "No!" Aya flung himself away from them violently and scrambled backwards. "No, you can't be involved in this! It is between Takatori and me *alone*!"

"Aya-kun--? Wait we--" Omi stared at him in surprise from where he had fallen after Aya pushed him away.

"You don't understand. " Aya knew the terror that filled him was clear in his voice. "They died! They all died! Everyone who ever knew-- and who have tried to help me. They all *died*!"

"Aya." Youji's hands were in front of him in a placating gesture. "We won't--"

"Three teachers and their families commit suicide-- two of my team mates took their own lives-- my parents-- Shion-- It was all my fault!" Fresh tears welled up in his eyes. "They died because they were in the way-- because they tried to help me to fight back." Aya backed away from them towards the stairs. "The school tennis team suffered abuse-- One of my sempai had to be institutionalised-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry-- I forgot! I don't want-- I didn't want-- never wanted anyone to get hurt... Don't-- don't get involved in my affairs."

"Wait, Aya--"

"Stay away from me!"

"Aya!"

"Aya-kun!

He fled up the stairs and ran back to his apartment, refusing to answer their calls.

*~*~*

  


> [Begin Flashback]
> 
> Joining his first team in Sendai was-- difficult. The four men were much older than he was, making Ran almost instantly distrustful. He was fortunate that they were patient with him. Having sensed the deep pain within him, they worked with him carefully, eventually gaining his trust.
> 
> "Ran, you've become rather-- proficient, I see."
> 
> Ran took his eyes off the Ikebana arrangement before him and turned towards Shion as the older man came closer.
> 
> "It-- cries, Ran. Quite masterful, but--" The man drew a hand over one of the long leaves of the Ikebana arrangement thoughtfully before he looked towards Ran again. "You'll only harm yourself if you continue to dwell on your pain. Ran, it shows in everything that you do. Especially this."
> 
> "No emotions... You don't know what you ask of me, Shion. My-- reason for living--"
> 
> "Ran, if you allow your feelings to colour every thing you do..." Shion interrupted him. Ran barely stopped himself from flinching as the man's hand reached out to rest over his. "Vengeance brings no rewards. It only clouds your mind, makes you act in haste... Lay it to rest, Ran. It is the only way you can be free."
> 
> "Still my heart-- throw away my feelings-- I don't know if I can, Shion."
> 
> "Ran-kun, put away your desire for revenge." He turned in the direction of the second voice to see Kikyou approaching them and stepping up to him to take his hand. "It does not fit the gentleness of your character. It is killing you."
> 
> "How can you kill something that is already dead?"
> 
> @&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@
> 
> "Train my abilities... no, not my abilities... what I should train... is not my abilities!"
> 
> Ran was aware of Erika staring at him in alarm and confusion as he cried and laughed to find himself alone again. Shion, Kikyou-- all dead-- His curse once more struck down those who he was close to and who tried to help him.
> 
> //"No emotions."// He thought he suddenly understood what Shion had said to him.
> 
> [End Flashback]

  


*~*~*

He let his heart turn to stone, unfeeling and unreachable. He swore never to let anyone get close to him again. To protect anyone who he might love, he would push them away first. He had tried not to care but he had failed.

He had walked out on Weiß, intending to finish his business with Takatori Reiji on his own, only to be confronted by Crawford and Farfarello. Aya had been fortunate that Persia was kind enough to snatch him from Schwartz and take him along in his mission of mercy to help his comrades after they had fallen into a trap.

"Aya, Weiß--"

"I will not let them be slaughtered." Aya accepted the machine gun from a grinning Manx and prepared to step out of the sedan to climb on the roof. A long time ago, he had been powerless to save his loved ones. Now he had a chance to intervene and this time, he wasn't going to lose them. Aya was determined that his friends would not die.

"Aya-- Ran?"

Hearing himself addressed by a name he hadn't heard in nearly two years, Aya turned to look at the former Police Commissioner, Takatori Shuuichi.

"For what it's worth--" The man looked down in shame before he raised his head again to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What do you expect me to say to that, Persia?" Aya's eyes hardened at the apology. "The pain doesn't ease with just a word. And-- I cannot feel grateful for how you guided my development after I left your Oniisan."

"Believe me, I understand. What ever I tried... it can never make up for what my silence cost you. I know that-- but I still felt-- that it must be said."

Aya nodded to him and climbed on the roof of the car. He readied the machine gun as Persia steered the car into position and prepared for the charge into the battlefield to save the other three members of Weiß.

@&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@

There seemed little time left to think or brood over past memories. Weiß had joined him, determined to take the fight to Takatori Reiji and bring him down once and for all. Though much of Tokyo was in chaos from the enforcement of martial law, they still managed to evade the SDF guards and get into the building. The real challenge, however, still lay ahead with Schwartz.

As luck would have it, Ran was alone when he came face to face with Crawford and Schuldich. Strangely, neither took up a defensive stance on seeing him.

"Mr. Fujimiya."

With the recent awakening of his past memories-- seeing these two men standing together-- recognition slammed into him.

"Knew you were conscious then. Finally remember us now, heh?" The German smiled at him wryly.

"You-- had green hair once--" Aya looked from one to the other. "You-- you foresaw this. Why--?"

"I am a murderer and an assassin, Mr. Fujimiya." Crawford admitted to him. "My superiors insisted I attend to Mr. Takatori in my training. But I did not-- I am not proud of what he made me do. I-- know no apology can be enough." The American waved him down the hall. "My superiors have decreed that we not interfere."

"On your suggestion?" Aya asked suspiciously.

"Perhaps."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Schuldich unconsciously reached up to twine a lock of red hair around his finger. "Just go finish what's between you and the old geezer."

Ran paused as he stood before the door to Takatori Reiji's private office. "Schuldich--when you--?"

"Hey, even a bastard like me has limits to his perversions." The German walked away without looking back. "Good luck, boy."

//"Good luck, boy."// Aya remembered Schuldich using those same words in parting when he had green hair. But it felt like he really meant it this time.

@&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@

"Who are you?"

Aya never thought that Takatori could ever hurt him that acutely again, but he did with that question. He rage within for the man's forgetfulness. "An avenger for one of your victims. The family of Fujimiya."

"Fujimiya? I don't recall--"

Their swords matched and clashed again. Ran was wild with fury. /Nearly eight years! Was it so insignificant to you?/ "You may have forgotten, but I remember it very well!"

The two men whirled around as their swords rang against each other. Aya desperately tried to control himself. Takatori Reiji was in no way a match for him in swordsmanship. Grabbing the decorative katana from his office was a show of desperation. Aya knew he was making amateur mistakes that a better swordsman would have easily taken advantage of. Had Takatori been more skilled with a sword, he would have died five times over since their blades engaged. //"No emotions"// Shion's words were coming back to him.

"Fujimiya--? Fujimi-- Little Orchid?"

Aya froze for a split second to hear that address again before he flung himself out of reach of the slash.

"You've grown." Takatori Reiji's tone became more sure as he faced him. "I've missed you."

"I haven't." Aya gritted his teeth as he charged again.

"Ran! I love you."

"Love?" The shock at that pronouncement made Ran pull up slightly, causing his sword to miss taking off Takatori's head by millimetres. "You dare claim that what you did to me was out of love?!"

"It is the truth! I took no lovers after I had you. I remained celibate once you left--"

"You used me! You left me for dead!" Ran was out of control, swinging his sword wildly in his desire to slash his opponent to shreds.

"That was a mistake! You don't know how much I regretted it. I was angry, Ran!" Sweat poured down Takatori's face as he frantically held off the fevered attack. "I would have made it up to you. I swear I wanted to, but you left for Sendai--"

"I never want you to touch me again!" Ran flung himself back barely avoiding a slash as Takatori's blade got inside his guard.

"You liked it!" The older man protested. "I always made sure you'd feel goo--"

"I *hated* every moment!" Ran hissed between his teeth between panting breaths as he faced the desperate man. "I *never* felt 'good' about anything you did to me. Your lies-- my Chichi-- when he found out-- you lied to me-- He still loved me-- he *still* *loved* me-- your lies kept me-- kept me from going to him sooner--"

"Little Orchid--"

"I *hate* you!" Ran charged but Takatori easily side stepped his wild rush and sent him tumbling.

Ran rolled back on his feet and held his sword before him. He tried to calm his breathing. Not flinching from the fire and heat around him even as a wall of flames separated him and Takatori Reiji. He had made enough mistakes. Only luck and Takatori's meagre skill with the sword allowed Ran to live after his frenzied unrestrained attack. If he had been facing someone who was better with a sword...

//"No emotions."// Shion's words rang in his mind again. Ran emptied his mind of all other thought except for the strike. It had taken the death of his first team to teach him control. He was so close to the consummation of his vengeance, he could not fail now. He would not fail now.

/No emotions-- don't act in haste-- See the strike in your mind-- and move!/ He charged through the wall of flames.

@&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@

Ran stared at the body at his feet. It was over. His vengeance-- Takatori Reiji was finally dead. But-- Ran started to choke, his mind suddenly flooded with questions and realisations. /I still feel so empty-- so-- What has changed? My imoto is still in a coma. My parents are still dead. Coach Kodashi-- Shion-- His death brought nothing to me. History doesn't change with a death!

/What did I accomplish?! Nothing's changed!/ Ran flung his head back and started to cry and laugh at the same time. "Even with his death, I feel no release! Nothing's changed!"

He twirled Shion's sword in his hand and reversed the blade, resting the sword point over his heart. A length of wire lassoed his wrist before the blade could breach his leather trenchcoat.

"Aya!" Ken caught his other hand before it could reach up to catch the sword and complete the thwarted down stroke.

"Let me go!" Ran tried to struggle free. Bereft of support, Shion's blade clattered to his feet.

"No! That's not the answer, Aya!" Youji yelled as he rushed in to grab Ran's wire entangled hand and kick his sword out of reach.

"I can't take it any more! It hurts!" Through his tears, Ran stared at the two men who were now holding his arms. "I thought killing him-- I thought it would stop the pain. But it doesn't! It still hurts. I want it to stop! I want the pain to end!"

"Aya-- Ran, dying isn't the answer."

"What is?! I endured for my family's security. Then-- Vengeance-- that was the only thing that kept me going. Kept me from-- thinking of the pain. It's over. Takatori Reiji is dead! There's no need for me to go on."

"How about your imotosan?"

"Trust funds-investments--Sakura-chan has the key to my box. It's all there." Ran laughed. "Like it or not, I did learn some things from Takatori Reiji. She's well taken care of. I've squirreled enough money away to keep her hospital bills paid until she dies of old age, if necessary. If she wakes up, then she'll have more money than she can ever think to spend."

"Money is no substitute for an oniisan!"

"You don't understand!" Ran looked at them desperately, still trying to pull free. "I am just a murderer-- a murderer and a whore! She's better off without me. Let me go!"

"No, Ran--"

"Don't you see? He killed me a long time ago." Ran pleaded with them. "Let me finish it! Let me end it!"

"All that bastard did was to make you hide." Youji told him firmly. "He did not kill you!"

"Ran, don't let the bastard win. Don't let him drag you after him into death!" Ken hissed to him urgently. "You don't want to die, Ran."

"Yes, I do!" He struggled to wrench his arms free. "Let me go!"

"Look at this, Ran." Youji forced the sleeve of his leather trench coat down to reveal the scars on his wrist. "Isn't this enough evidence for you that you didn't want to die, even when he was abusing you?"

"What?"

"You've always cut *across* the wrist." Youji told him urgently. "If you were serious you would have cut *down*. This was a cry for attention! You may have flirted with suicide, but deep down you really want to live!"

"Youji's right, Ran. We know you!" Ken joined Youji in his pleas. "If you were determined to die, you would have succeeded in killing yourself *before* we came on the scene!"

He stopped struggling, feeling suddenly confused. "But it-- it hurts. It's been so long-- I can't take the pain anymore. It hurts so bad-- I want it to stop. I want to stop hurting."

"Ran, sometimes it helps to share the pain." Ken told him gently as he shifted his posture so that he could slide an arm around Ran's waist while maintaining a grip on his arm. "We want to help you. Don't turn us away. We care about you."

"By the sound of it, you've spent most of your life living for someone else, Ran." Youji spoke softly pulling his attention towards him as he moved in front of Ran so that they were face to face. "For Mamoru, to spare him from Takatori Reiji's perversions; For your family, to keep them safe and secure; For your imotosan, to revenge her on the one who put her in a coma. Have you ever done anything in your own interest? Have you ever tried to live for yourself?"

"My own--?" Ran blinked at them. "I-- I've-- never thought--"

"Won't you try, Ran? We'll be here for you." Ken whispered to him gently as he hugged Ran closer to him. "You broke the curse remember? We're still alive. You won, Ran. It worked out."

"You're not alone, Ran." Youji kissed his gloved hand and leaned his head against him, forehead to forehead. "We won't give up on you."

"We can't promise that the pain will disappear, but it will lessen over time, Ran. It will be better." Ken told him firmly. "We want to be a part of your life, Ran.

"Persia's dead. Takatori's dead. We don't need to continue to exist as Weiß. That's one chapter of our lives that we can close. It can be a new beginning for you. For us."

"Won't you give us a chance?"

Ran's teeth began to chatter as he closed his eyes and slumped against them in exhaustion. He let himself cry. Dimly aware that the two men had adjusted their positions so they could embrace him between them. Trusting this time that the arms holding him in comfort would not be wrenched away like before.

@&gt;;~'~ ------------- ~;~`&lt;@

"Ran?"

He hadn't met his counsellor since that dark day in the hospital so many years ago, but her elation at seeing him again was unmistakable. Ran rubbed his wrists nervously as he sat on the sofa and faced the woman again.

"Are you ready?" She asked him gently.

"Yes-- I-- I guess I'm ready to give it another try, Doctor." Ran took a deep breath before he spoke again. "My-- my name is Fujimiya Ran and-- I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I've-- I've held this secret from family and friends for nearly half my life, but I'm not-- I'm not going to hide anymore."

Ran looked to one side at where Ken and Youji were seated on the sofa near him; Where Omi stood leaning against the wall just behind them, waiting now that his turn at speaking with the counsellor was over. They smiled at him reassuringly.

He turned back to face his counsellor. "I-I'm ready to move on-- and-- learn how to be a survivor."

"I'm glad, Ran." She smiled at him warmly.

/And perhaps,/ Ran thought as he felt the faint tugs of an old friend on his lips. /I'll eventually learn how to smile again too./

~ Owari ~  
Thanks for reading


End file.
